Posted on 02/20/2022 10:47:31 PM PST by nickcarraway
When you like someone, it's only natural—thrilling, even—to work for their attention in hopes they'll like you back. But this crosses the line, says Sanam Hafeez, PsyD, neuropsychologist and faculty member at Columbia University in New York City, when an innocent love interest turns into more obsessive behavior that compromises your dignity.
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What, exactly, is a simp? Urban Dictionary suggests a simp is someone who's overly desperate for another person. Most often, a simp is thought of as a guy enamored with a woman who possesses no interest in him—to the point he'll do seemingly anything for her attention. (So for a simple way of explaining a simp in this story, we refer to male-female heterosexual relationships. However, the dynamic can play out in all types of relationships, and a woman who behaves this way might also be considered a simp.) A simp exhibits fawning, groveling, or debasing behavior, possibly doing things they wouldn't normally do or that compromise their values or make them look silly.
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At what point are you a simp? Dr. Kelley says one hallmark of a "simp" is significantly low self-esteem. The result? A sense of subservience or submissiveness to the person they're pursuing sexually. The lack of success at this only adds to a negative self-image.
(Excerpt) Read more at msn.com ...
FFS, stop simping. You only encourage more bad behavior.
The beta thirst is real.
I was friends with one of these in high school. She constantly needed to be with a guy; didn’t matter who. She online dated a Pakistani dude at 15 (he was in his thirties!) and almost left the country because he kept saying he’d bring her there and marry her. I explained that there was no fvcking way she’d get to remain Pagan (her whole family was; very nice but hippy-dippy people) and that she could kiss all of her rights goodbye. My Mom was dating a Pakistani fellow at the time, and he confirmed that. If I recall, he just ghosted her. She was needy.
I believe this is what , in the 1930’s they used to call a ‘’sap’’.
A girl who behaves submissively can be attractive to a guy.
A submissive guy will rarely find women attracted to him. Women want a guy who makes them feel secure, who will confidently deal with whatever crisis life throws at him.
If I could offer just two pieces of advice to young men, they would be:
1) strive to improve yourself. Become that guy who women (and men) look to to help competently deal with bad problems and crisis situations.
2) Don’t look for “the woman of your dreams”. Instead, be alert for the woman who wants YOU and regards you as the man of HER dreams. She will be more likely to have an interest in keeping you happy. Diligently working on #1 makes #2 easier.
#2 applies to women too. Too many women spend their lives not wanting less than “Prince Charming”, and then are upset to discover that the Prince has better options than her, but may consent to keep her around for no-strings “booty calls” when he’s got nobody better that night.
Simps are real and have been around forever. The difference is that the Internet and certain sites have taken it to both astounding & disgusting proportions. They have made it:
a) Easy to become a simp
b) Easy for some women to prey on simps — and even get rich off doing it.
Too many women spend their lives not wanting less than “Prince Charming”, and then are upset to discover that the Prince has better options than her, but may consent to keep her around for no-strings “booty calls” when he’s got nobody better that night.
When a woman says she “wants a nice guy”, often what that means is she wants a guy who will pay her Bill’s, while she has flings with more exciting guys.
Words of wisdom
Let’s face it almost everyone has likely simped to some extent at least once in their life. Love is a crazy emotion.
Most of this is not love, its beyond adolescent fascination and social media has put it on steroids.
Love isn’t always on time. 😉
Are you quoting “Toto”?
No fooling you. 😉
The male equivalent would be the guy who can’t stop a) bragging about the beautiful babes he wins and b) complaining about how crazy all the women he dates are.
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