Posted on 02/20/2022 6:52:47 AM PST by LibWhacker
Does anyone have any experience in getting help for a seriously disturbed friend or relative? In this case, the seriously disturbed person is our nephew, aged 38, and we're really beginning to worry about what is going to happen to him in the not-too-distant future.
He dropped out of high school in the 9th or 10th grade. I don't think he's ever read a book. He cannot hold a job: there is almost NO chance of that. In fact, I'd guess he's never held a job more than a month or two, tops.
I once caught him bringing marijuana into our house and told him it could cost his beloved aunt (my wife), who I believe he really does love, the house she worked so hard for, IF the feds found drugs in the house and decided to prosecute. He told me marijuana was now legal in Caifornia and that that could never happen. This expertise based on his experience working two weeks as a file clerk in a law firm, before they fired him for being an obnoxious so-and-so (he tried to tell them how to organize their filing system, and that the way they were doing it was beyond dumb).
When I told him he didn't know anything about the law he said, "Uncle Joe (not my real name), I know everything about the law." That based on two weeks as a file clerk in a law office!
And so it's been with every job he's ever held... He knows how to do things better than they do and always gets fired within a month or so. This has been going on for over 20 years.
His own mother can't stand him and will not allow him to come around. His father is the only person who helps him, but is old and won't be able to do that much longer.
His sister's only child is embarrassed to have him around (that niece decided he was too much of an embarrassment when she was all of seven years old) and so he can't go there anymore.
He mutters and talks and shouts to himself and erupts in scary outbursts for no apparent reason, in private and in public.
When he was young he was quite cute and went through a series of puppies he'd carry around, or lead around on a leash, to attract girls and get them in bed. But he's not cute anymore. He's scary.
Recently, doctors have prescribed anti-psychotic meds and I understand those meds help a lot. But he doesn't like them won't take them as prescribed, or at all, if you're not standing over him with a whip and forcing him to take them, which his dad is pretty much incapable of doing anymore.
I told my wife I thought he needs to be institutionalized. But she says there is no institutionalizing people like that anymore, "thanks to your hero Reagan."
Uh, WHAT???
So what to do? Any ideas? I really do want to help him but don't have a clue what to do. He's not moving in with us, that's for sure. Google, Duck Duck Go, etc., aren't much help.
When his father dies, that's when it's going to hit the fan.
Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you.
He’s obviously dealing with mental challenges and therapy could be helpful.
The weed likely helps keep him settled and lessens anxiety. He may need a support system and realistic goals that obtainable like a part time job.
Talk to a family law attorney. You “might” be able to get him a 36 hour hold if he is a danger to himself or others. That’s about it.
The days of getting someone committed are over. I did it to an aunt—but it took a bunch of money, lawyers, docs, judges, cops and a bunch of others. And she was old, sick, and demented.
My guess is an attorney or social worker will tell you to cut your losses.
I have found it is frustrating to care about someone’s problems more than they do and will drive you insane after a while.
Part of his illness is he destroys other’s lives. Lessen the damage he causes by not letting him affect yours. Walk away and forget.
I wonder if he is undiagnosed Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism and uses drugs to cope with it. He sounds intelligent which may fit with Aspergers. Just a thought.
Yep
“ told my wife I thought he needs to be institutionalized. But she says there is no institutionalizing people like that anymore, “thanks to your hero Reagan.”
Well that’s true. We don’t do that anymore. We should but no we don’t. Why do you think cities like NY and LA are the way they are?
Wrong. Reagan was the one who signed the patient’s bill of rights bill.
“1967 Reagan signs the Lanterman-Petris-Short Act and ends the practice of institutionalizing patients against their will, or for indefinite amounts of time. This law is regarded by some as a “patient’s bill of rights”. “
lol. In what way do you think the lazy drug addict is intelligent??? Please share
I think the issue with institutions is that they are very difficult to manage and the costs are very high.
A high percent of those who used to be hospitalized are fine in group homes.
But there is a group that falls in the cracks between them and criminally insane. Those are the ones causing big safety issues.
Does he live with you? If so you may want to do something about that, is he close to your wife, who I am guessing is his aunt? If he is living with you howe did you get stuck with him?
i hope all works out well for your family. Good luck.
Tell him to stay away. Find a lawyer who can inform you of there are any ways to ban him from any contact. When he violates these call the police. Get a gun, learn to use it, become a legal carrier. This man will become a dangerous pest.
LW...
I can relate to your situation. First with a
younger brother, who, after being passed
around from family member to family member,
eventually wound up in prison. Second, with
my son who did three deployments to Iraq and
now suffers with a TBI and PTSD. He has
discovered a hobby (almost an obsession)
with rocks. He inherited all of his
grandfathers’ lapidary equipment and spends
hours in the shop, cutting and polishing.
It may be helpful in your nephews case to
find that one thing that captivates him.
Even if it is something where there is no
return on investment. His mind won’t be
focused on the demons dwelling there.
Once you find that interest, encourage it,
and praise the results.
Look like a case of schizophrenia. They love to use marihuana. Cannot hold a job. Feeling persecuted, watched, followed. Being dangerous. Attacking random people on the streets. Extreme liberal views.
Most cases are male, getting sick during puberty. Very sad disease, just ruins somebody life.
I knew few, it is very sad disease. It destroys the whole family.
Many of the highly reported shooting like the Denver cinema or congresswoman Gaby Giffords were done by schizophrenics.
Needs a psychiatric care. ASAP before he hurts somebody.
Keep guns away from him!
There are psychiatric hospitals, still, he can be forced to take his medications. Reagan did not close them, it were the liberals who advocated to free the insane and managed that by fiat, but happened during Reagan era.
Schizophrenia is treatable! Well, at least to some degree, but maybe enough for him to get stabilized and even hold a job.
The alternative is that he will end up in the jail for insane criminals. Both above shooters ended with life in prison.
I felt that was kind of unfair, because schizophrenics really do not know what they are doing.
My, aren’t you charming.
I couldn’t help but notice you didn’t answer the question. What part of the persons description makes you think they are intelligent?
Change the locks and make sure you can defend yourself.
It’s hard to watch someone destroy themselves, but sometimes there is nothing else to be done.
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