Posted on 02/20/2022 6:52:47 AM PST by LibWhacker
I have a son who is a terrible alcoholic. So bad he got me kicked out of my last apartment when I let him stay with me. Drunk every day and high in between. Hasn’t held a steady job in a decade.
When I lost my apartment we went to my mom’s house while I looked for another place. Three weeks there and she kicked him out for being outrageous drunk.
I set him up with a room at the Salvation Army but he refused to stay there because they have alcohol test every evening, random drug tests and once you come in for the day you don’t go back out.
That was when I told him he is on his own. I’m not getting any younger and he needs to grow up. He found a place to stay and is currently working. Hopefully he straightens up.
Thing is, a person has to hit rock bottom. With no one to turn to and no where to go before change is possible.
Good luck neighbor.
You’re right, and the mentally ill get released often enough when they show they are stable.
Yea, after a point you have to make sure you are not being an enabler, allowing them to live the addict life on the cheap, with you providing the subsidy.
It worked for Fredo lol.
Is he talking to people/voices he believes are talking to him?
Many years ago, I put 2 degrees in Psychology and a law degree to work.
My clients were usually people with mental health issues who populate the justice system.
Lots of Freepers here mention the spiritual needs of such people.
To demonstrate the healing power of good spiritual ministering, a recidivist client I had for a number of years comes to mind.He talked irrationally as he wandered. He heard voices who influenced him.
He was always in trouble with the justice system and over and over, I tried to get him help. He was always on probation which he always broke and which put him on longer probation which he also broke. He and I spent many a time in probation hearings trying to keep him out jail or worse prison.He saw psychiatrists who tended to medicate him. He saw psychologists who all gave up with therapy. He joined groups. He lived in group homes. Nothing worked.
But one day, I saw that we were to have a probation haring to terminate probation for successful completion.
When I met him at court, I was super congratulatory and asked him what was the cause of his success.
He said; well you know the preacher man at the jail? Of course I did. He continued. Well Preacher man asked me if I knew right from wrong and I said yes. And Preacher man said well from now on when the voices tell you to do wrong , say no. So I have. Haven’t been in trouble for a long time.
This event has caused me much thought. It is humbling.
I’d suggest a “sink or swim” method. Ask him if he wants to travel to a foreign country. If he does, get him a passport and visa, and just before he boards the aircraft, give him an envelope with the equivalent of a few thousand dollars in that nations currency.
He’ll likely blow the cash quickly. Then when he calls home demanding more money, tell him to earn his ticket home.
Cruel, yes. But it’s a last ditch effort. There is likely no technique in the US that would work better.
I grew up listening to stories on a radio broadcast called Unshackled from the Pacific Garden Mission. Thousands of stories of those like your son and this poster’s nephew whose lives were changed.
Are you nuts? You send someone like this to a country like Singapore with thousands of dollars and the odd are extremely high they will get life imprisonment or the death penalty for buying and possessing drugs.
He’s only a nephew, you label him psychotic and you let him into your house? Repeatedly???
All due respect - and that’s stretching it - I have little confidence you’ll take seriously any advice offered, primarily due to what sounds like your wife.
To be brutally blunt, I’ve read far too many stories about murdered families which, the later investigation revealed, have a similar background.
Share the Good News with him, then cut him loose.
Everything else, from your run down is enabling.
We once had to deal with a brother-in-law (wife’s side) who went over the edge of reality doing drugs and drink, cost him his wife, home and business. He needed everyone to do everything for him, and most of his siblings did. We offered him a temp home and got him stable for a bit, but he refused to get a job I arranged for. Then, he decided that he was more than a guest. I threw him out, with a load of gear so he wouldn’t freeze to death, and a case of MREs. I even paid his bus fare to anywhere he wanted. We heard from him once, he demanded money. I told hm no. He stated he’d never been more insulted. I hung up and changed our number. Thats the last we have heard from him. He has an Arborist business in NC, and doesn’t pop up on occasional criminal searches, so I guess he figured his stuff out, or not.
Get him ‘into’ the system.
We all pay massive taxes to help out with situations beyond our ability to deal with... This might be one of those.
Get him signed up for disability, subsidized housing, counseling etc. Any support groups he can get into... He’ll get enough money to live on, food and a roof over his head. Minimum supervision.
Family members might be able to assist with making sure he sees a doctor when he can - or that every other month his apartment is cleaned by a service (I’m guessing he’s not very organized)... help within your comfort level.
If after all of this - and an honest effort over a year or two, nothing works - buy him a ticket to San Francisco and buy him a pop-up tent.
That's a grave situation...pun truly not intended.
He'll do as he pleases, or as his demons please him, until one day or night we'll all read about him again, God willing, without your involvement.
But he's lost. His father has to take charge. These kinds of psychosis, and these kinds of psychotic episodes lead to absolutely no good.
I personally think he needs to be institutionalized. I suffer from anxiety, depression and OCD, the latter two things fairly mild, thanks be to God. I have gone off meds before, and it’s not good, including recently, at which point my anxiety went to the damned moon. The meds usually have effects on my heart nowadays, so I’m seriously considering trying medical marijuana, since it’s legal in Florida.
The point is, if he simply refuses to take the meds for no good reason, he should probably be in a place where they’re force upon him. I’ve gone off them under extraordinary circumstances, but I do try to get back on them when I can, like I’m doing now. I’m also lucky that I can function fairly well off them, but he apparently cannot, so do what you can to get him institutionalized, so that he can get the help he needs.
Also, the spiritual help in a previous reply is good, too, in case he really is demon-possessed. JMO.
I once had a homeless guy tell me “I went to lawyer school.”
If he has had psychotic break making him a danger to himself or others, they have two choices:
Hospital Emergency Admission
Call the police
I do tend to like choice #1 and working with paramedics to get him into the hospital.
The fact that he’s too much to handle for one or two family members is not a ticket to throw him to the wolves or to buy a pop up tent and ticket to San Francisco.
People - even mentally damaged people - tend to act in their own self interest. He knows he’s running out of people to turn to - that his father’s getting old and that soon he’ll be facing the abyss alone... That’s the motivation for getting him in the system. On disability, in a subsidized apartment, on food stamps etc etc. The fact he’s not in prison means it’s not hopeless yet...
I guess I am wondering aloud is he “on drugs” or “mentally unbalanced”? (and possibly also on drugs). If he is truly mentally ill.. and I tend to believe he is due to the strange outbursts and the behavior since he was young.. then possibly seek an attorney or the court to have him declared mentally incompetent. You may have to become his guardian but you could also file for social security disability to pay for an apartment etc... That is the best advice I can come up with, LibWhacker. I am so sorry this is happening to your family and I understand the desire to help him. Prayers and please keep us in the loop if more prayers are needed. (((Hugs))) Mom
Do you happen to know if that B vitamin treatment was performed successfully for other mental illnesses, such as anxiety, depression or OCD?
You wouldn’t lose your house even if you didn’t live in a recreational weed state 🤪
Stop being afraid
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