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Why Don't The Players Just Run Around Everyone? -- Op-Ed By Your Wife
The Babylon Bee ^ | February 13, 2022 | Your Wife

Posted on 02/14/2022 7:00:19 PM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks

I've been watching football for a considerable amount of time -- the last three hours, more specifically -- and something doesn't quite add up for me.

The players often take the ball and dive straight up the middle, where there are other, bigger players ready to stop them. But this is what gets me -- there's a ton of space all around the players they could use to just run around all the bad guys.

What gives?

It seems like a surefire strategy to take the ball and run where there AREN'T opposing players, instead of taking the ball and running where there ARE opposing players. It seems really basic. And I'm just not sure why the teams haven't realized this yet.

It's probably just because they haven't had the input of a smart, strong, independent woman like me. But no matter what the reason, the teams would score way more goals if they'd just run around everyone. I've got a call in with the manager of both the Bengals and the Rams. I'll update this post for you guys if they get back to me.

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Health/Medicine; Humor; Outdoors; Sports
KEYWORDS: football; oped; players; satire
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

That would be a working solution just like why don’t baseball players hit the ball where there are no opposing players nearby to catch it?


21 posted on 02/15/2022 1:05:27 AM PST by minnesota_bound (I need more hash brown patties! )
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

SPEED


22 posted on 02/15/2022 1:15:14 AM PST by Varsity Flight ( "War by the prophesies set before you." I Timothy 1:18)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Why do punters always kick the ball right to the one guy standing at the other end of the field? Right to him every time!


23 posted on 02/21/2022 8:04:34 AM PST by subterfuge (I'm a pure-blood!)
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To: subterfuge

A throwback from The Bee:

Men Agree To Let Women Run The World As Long As They’ll Stop Asking Questions During Football Games

https://babylonbee.com/news/men-agree-to-let-women-run-the-world-as-long-as-theyll-stop-asking-questions-during-football-games


24 posted on 02/21/2022 8:10:31 AM PST by dfwgator (Endut! Hoch Hech!)
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To: dfwgator

LOL. That’s a good one too. Love the Bee


25 posted on 02/21/2022 10:03:04 AM PST by subterfuge (I'm a pure-blood!)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

I did not suspect this was The Bee.

I s@@@ at this game.


26 posted on 02/21/2022 10:33:22 AM PST by gitmo (If your theology doesn't become your biography, what good is it?)
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