Posted on 01/14/2022 5:17:05 AM PST by sodpoodle
CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, “What's the story?” He replies, “Just crap in the carburetor.” She asks, “How often do I have to do that?”
SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her driver’s license. She replied in a huff, “I wish you guys would get your act together! Just yesterday they took my license away and now today you expect me to show it to you?”
AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it. “Impossible!” says the doctor. “Show me.” The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream. The doctor said, “You're not really a redhead, are you?” “Well, no,” she said, “I'm actually a blonde.” “I thought so,” the doctor said, “Your finger is broken.”
KNITTING A Highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, “PULL OVER!” “NO!” the blonde yelled back, “IT'S A SCARF!”
BLONDE ON TIME A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named “Rolex” and one was named “Timex”. Her friend said, “Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?”
“Helllooooo...! ,” answered the blonde. “They're watchdogs.”
FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
In the swim-meet, after the blond came in last competing n the breaststroke, she complained to the judges that all the other girls were using their arms.
.............................
.
She tells the loan officer that she is going to Europe for 3 weeks on business and would like to borrow $10,000.
The loan officer said she would need some kind of security for the loan so the blonde handed over the keys for a brand new Rolls Royce. The car was parked in front of the bank, the blonde had the pink slip, and everything checked out so she got the loan.
The loan officer told the bank president about this and they laughed about the blonde using a $250,000 car as security for a $10,000 loan. They then had a bank employee drive the car into their parking garage and leave it there for safekeeping.
Three weeks later, the blonde returns, and pays back the $10,000 plus $61.50 in interest and fees for the loan.
The loan officer said, "Ms, we are very happy to have had your business and the transaction has worked out well, but we were are a little puzzled. We checked and found out that you are a multi-millionnaire, so why did you need to borrow $10,000?
The blonde replied, "Where else in New York City can I park my car for three weeks for only $61.50 and expect it to be there when I return?
blonde jokes started sometime in the 80’s and 90’s when the grip of maryln monroe and her clones on hollywood’s imagination began to wane.
Jokes were therapy.
There’s a lot dumber races in the USA than blondes. but the country is too pc to pick on them.
“ country is too pc to pick on them.”
Agree we blondes can take it. They don’t say we have more fun for nothing.
Thank you for reminding me 😉
Aren’t you on to happy hour. C’mon. Get a social life.
I would love to but 2 young kids doesn’t allow for much time to go party anymore. Enjoy your drinks though! Hopefully they will help relax you a bit. And hey being blonde might get ya some too! (That would probably help as well) ... I know my blonde self is counting the minutes until kids bedtime for some fun with my husband ;)
PS: what are you doing exactly? either you too are not with friends tonight or even worse are still worried about people on the internet so much you must check and respond while ignoring your friends.... So pot calling kettle OR just find being offended more important than real people in your oh so fabulous social life?
Well I have blonde type frosting sufficient I’m taken for a blonde....and I can say Blones DO have more fun because they attract men rather quickly.....then when they quickly learn you’re smart as well they want to hang around forever!
AOC has highhandedly removed the stigma from blondes.
What did AOC say when the doctor told her she was pregnant? “Are you sure it’s mine?”
EDIT:highhandedly = single-handedly
Amen! ... Well the true men at least. The small 🤏 ones tend to be threatened by intelligent women. Love scaring those little men with a good debate 🤣😂🤣
Well you’re right about those who only see the hair.....they pivot fast and easy to brush off. I generally don’t linger as there’s plenty of the dimwitted blondes out there they can have. Just don’t be rude.
I also think there are different types of intelligent men and woman. But with blonde hair you have to wade the environment.
That’s what I’ve found. Enjoy !!
A brunette who told one to many blonde jokes.
(Blondes are not noted for their sense of humor.)
I have a lot more to say about this subject but its not pc—even for this crowd.
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