'The View' Replaces Republican Host With Elephant Piñata They Can Hit With Sticks All Day

The Babylon Bee ^ | December 29, 2021 | The Babylon Bee

[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

NEW YORK, NY—After a long and fruitless search for a conservative host willing to subject herself to daily appearances on The View, producers have announced that in lieu of a conservative host, they will instead bring on an elephant piñata they can hit with sticks throughout the entire show. According to sources, the other hosts are elated at the change.

"Republicans are Nazis!" said Joy Behar in the latest taping as she viciously struck the piñata with a long stick. "What do you think about that Mr. GOP Elephant? Oh, that's right—I forgot you can't talk. Because you're a dumb Republican!" THWACK!

The audience clapped and cheered as Behar destroyed the silent elephant piñata, as the "clap and cheer" sign had been turned on.

Fans of The View say they are also excited about the change, as the silent paper mâché animal will leave more space for hosts Joy Behar and Whoopi Goldberg to share their profound and well-thought-out opinions.

[GrandJediMasterYoda]

Pay me $100 million a month and I’ll consider going on that show. It will take about that much to make me withstand the screeching torture from Joyless Behar and Jabba the Hutt Whoopi Goldturd

[Bernard]

Bruce Jenner would be the perfect candidate for this opportunity. The show could also have a call-in audience vote on who looks more like a man, Bruce Jenner or Joy Behar?

[EvilCapitalist]

I was at the doctors office about 3 years ago, and The View was on tv in the waiting room. When I finally saw the doctor, I told him I almost put the coat rack through his tv screen. He laughed.

[Drew68]

Pay me $100 million a month and I’ll consider going on that show.

The rule for any "conservative" View host is that they can't win any arguments.

[GrandJediMasterYoda]

“Republicans are Nazis!” said Joy Behar

All Democrats are pedophiles.

There’s a lot more evidence for that than any Republican being a Nazi.

[GrandJediMasterYoda]

LOL. Say, this doctors last name wouldnt be “Mengele” would it? Why would he torture his patients like that?

[EvilCapitalist]

I did remind him about the Hippocratic Oath.

[Leep]

I bet the elephant wins 2 out of 3 times.

[Kevmo]

I had to check to see if this was the Babylon Bee... oh, wait...

[Jeff Chandler]

Here's you guy:

[gloryblaze]

Bruce Jenner would be the perfect candidate for this opportunity....

Worth considering.

[Liz]

Whoopi went to her doctor fearing she had Covid.

"Doc, I've lost my sense of taste," she wailed.

"Yes, that's apparent by that outfit you're wearing, he replied."

[dfwgator]

Speaking of elephants, Whoopi is so fat, that when she goes to the zoo, the elephants throw her peanuts.

[Vaquero]

The Republicans use elephant piñatas for whipping boys. They’re as despicable as democrats and the View.

Yeah I know it’s the Babylon Bee

[Liz]

LoL.......she’s huge.

[drSteve78]

That wouldn’t be fair; the piñata would just increase the average intelligence in the room.

[Eleutheria5]

I thought this was for real, ‘til I saw it was from the Babylon Bee.

[Eleutheria5]

There’s a place for trannies in women’s competitive sports after all. One in which they are hopelessly outmatched. I doubt that Jenner could screech idiocies as shrilly as Joy and Whoopi. Might beat them in an arm wrastling contest, but as for screeching, and screeching idiocies, and doing it shrilly, these are the world champeens.

[Chode]