Posted on 10/29/2021 9:46:19 AM PDT by dayglored
WASHINGTON, D.C.—With the pandemic still ongoing, the White House has been on the alert for anything that might cause resistance to the vaccine mandates. And they just realized that there was a constant anti-vax sentiment right under their noses: the national anthem.
The last line of “The Star-Spangled Banner” is “O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave,” implying that the U.S. is a place where people are free to make their own choices and aren’t motivated by fear — pretty much a call to ignore the government during a pandemic.
“So basically, at the beginning of every sporting event, people are being told they don’t have to do what the government tells them,” White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki told reporters. “That has to end now.”
Biden has signed an executive order changing the last line to “O’er the land of the pliant, and the home of the ‘fraid.”
“It messes up the meter a little bit,” Psaki said, “but we have to make sacrifices so we can get to a 100% vaccination rate so we can then focus on getting absolutely everyone to do the next thing we’ve decided you need to do for the pandemic.”
The White House is also reportedly considering replacing the Pledge of Allegiance with a pledge to science, but Democrats are afraid that might come off as anti-trans.
Today’s satire, tomorrow’s news
When reality is overrun with lunatics to such a profound degree it must be difficult to be a satirist.
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They will probably go after that insurrectionist document written by dead white slaveholders—you know the one—The Declaration of Independence.
O’er the land of the free (except for the vaccine mandates)...
and the home of the scared...
of losing your job...
or getting kicked out of school...
I guess this isn’t the land of the free—EEEEEE!
Whole new National Anthem is being written now with bland words and lots of Happy Talk. Land of puppies and kittens, all fat and playing in the Peoples utopia. BUT Anthem—The Internationale Now that is edgy. “Rise up ye victims of Oppression for the tyrants fear your might! Don’t cling so hard to your possessions for you have nothing if you have no rights!” I must admit I am feeling rather oppressed these days.
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