Posted on 10/22/2021 11:11:51 AM PDT by Trillian
The Official Friday Silliness Thread ping.
Lets Go Brandon!
Your cartoon reminds me of a flight I took once. As my wife and I were boarding, I saw a lady who was already in her seat reading a biography of Princess Di. I could not imagine why anyone would want to read that and I almost laughed. She’s probably reading the Megan Markle story by now.
Top 10!
#FJB and Alec Baldwin!
I have a dig bick.
You that read wrong.
You read that wrong also.
I am guilty of telling inappropriate jokes. An example of that would be jokes about handicapped people.
Last night I was with a group of people and I told the following joke:
“What do you do when your epileptic child is taking a bath and has a seizure?”
The punch line was “Throw in your dirty clothes and some detergent.”
Well, this one guy got real mad and upset. He said “I have an epileptic child. They died taking a bath.”
I said “I am so sorry. Did they drown?”
He said “No. They choked on a sock.”
A woman had recently lost her husband and went to the funeral parlour to see her husband for the last time before the burial service. As the funeral director led her into the viewing room she let out a loud gasp. “Whatever is the matter?” the funeral director asked.
“Oh” said the woman, “You’ve put him in a blue suit and he hated blue suits, he really liked grey suits and we’ve given all his other clothes to the charity shops”.
“Oh I’m sorry” said the funeral director, “Look the funeral is tomorrow but we will try our best to to get it sorted by the morning”.
The lady pops back into the funeral parlour the next morning and asks the funeral director if he was able to sort out the suit problem.
The funeral director said “Bizarrely, you’re not going to believe this, but another lady came in after you left and her husband was in a grey suit and she said “Oh no, my husband loved blues suits!” so all we had to do was swap the heads!”
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A young couple wanted to join a church congregation, so when
they interviewed with the pastor, he said one rule is that for at least one month they needed to abstain from sex to show devotion.
So, after the month was up they met again and they were asked how it went.
Well, the first week they said was fine, no urges. The next week they almost did it but avoided each other and slept in separate rooms.
Midway thru the third week, the man confessed that one day the wife bent way over to pick up a package of meat, her panties showed, and he admitted he lost it. Did it right there on the floor.
So, the pastor said, well, as we agreed , you didn’t make it for the whole month, therefore, we can’t let you into our group.
The couple said, they understand, they aren’t allowed in Safeway anymore, either.
lmao
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