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Nanochip in New COVID Vaccine Too Large to be Injected Safely
Hiking in the Light ^
| Lucas Necessary
Posted on 10/13/2021 2:27:31 PM PDT by Rightwing Conspiratr1
Seattle, WA—In a massive bungle between Moderna and Microsoft, the nanochip in the new COVID vaccine is far too large to be injected safely.
Both companies are currently blaming the other, with Moderna saying that it informed Microsoft that the nanodevice had to be tiny enough—nano—to be used in small-bore needles, and Microsoft claiming that Moderna delivered no absolute specifications.
“Microchip, nanochip, we thought it was just branding,” said Bill Gates. “But now most of the needles are getting stopped up, so people aren’t getting the vaccine or more importantly, our exciting new mind-control and remote-compliance device. We don’t accept responsibility for this, but boy are our faces red.”
Gates remarked that the companies had fallen victim to one of the classic blunders: making a classic blunder.
Though the news is concerning to warzone hospitals, Moderna has stated that it will be administering the vaccines via suppository flush as a workaround until Microsoft releases a smaller chip. In that form, the vaccines will need to be readministered every 6 hours.
Bill Gates also suggested that the virus might be eliminated by giving everyone a chicken.
TOPICS: Conspiracy; Humor; UFO's; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: conspiracy; covid; fake; randomnut; satire
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To: Rightwing Conspiratr1
Did the Babylon Bee change their name?
2
posted on
10/13/2021 2:28:55 PM PDT
by
Kickass Conservative
(THEY LIVE, and we're the only ones wearing the Sunglasses.)
To: Rightwing Conspiratr1
People are dying from coerced 'vaccinations', hospitals are killing those who retreat there for help. So your jokes aren't funny to a nation under attack, with you rooting for our enemies
3
posted on
10/13/2021 2:29:56 PM PDT
by
ransomnote
(IN GOD WE TRUST)
To: Rightwing Conspiratr1
For the love of God, Bill Gates hasn’t been involved in Microsoft for over a decade. If they’re gonna write satire, at least get the details correct. Amateurs.
4
posted on
10/13/2021 2:30:12 PM PDT
by
rarestia
(Repeal the 17th Amendment and ratify Article the First to give the power back to the people!)
To: Kickass Conservative
To: Rightwing Conspiratr1
There was a mix up.
6
posted on
10/13/2021 2:31:19 PM PDT
by
ifinnegan
(Democrats kill babies and harvest their organs to sell)
To: ifinnegan
I see what you did there.
7
posted on
10/13/2021 2:32:25 PM PDT
by
Governor Dinwiddie
(LORD, grant thy people grace to withstand the temptations of the world, the flesh, and the devil.)
To: rarestia
Yeah—Bill Gates is busy saving the planet by flying to conferences all over the world in his private jet.
The guy has a bigger carbon footprint than many African countries.
8
posted on
10/13/2021 2:32:40 PM PDT
by
cgbg
(A kleptocracy--if they can keep it. Think of it as the Cantillon Effect in action.)
To: Rightwing Conspiratr1
Well the article might be satire but some dude in Poland found a hydra type organism made of Aluminum and Carbon in 1/3 of the Covid vaccines.
9
posted on
10/13/2021 2:33:18 PM PDT
by
Roman_War_Criminal
(Jesus + Something = Nothing ; Jesus + Nothing = Everything )
To: ifinnegan
10
posted on
10/13/2021 2:34:05 PM PDT
by
SkyDancer
(If at first you don't succeed, so much for skydiving)
To: Kickass Conservative
The story is just a misdirection for the real source of the 5g microchips. Suppository embedded toilet paper. Why else would it be in such short supply? Think!
11
posted on
10/13/2021 2:34:31 PM PDT
by
phoneman08
(qwiyrqweopigradfdz oncmccRthym,.dadfjl,dz )
To: Rightwing Conspiratr1
To: cgbg
Wasn’t intending to support the man. Just pointing out some facts that so many seem to not understand.
13
posted on
10/13/2021 2:37:19 PM PDT
by
rarestia
(Repeal the 17th Amendment and ratify Article the First to give the power back to the people!)
To: ransomnote
Chill. Victor Frankl (psychologist) in his epic tome “Man’s Search for Being”, which he wrote after surving Auschwitz, said the single biggest factor of those who survived vs those who perished was whether one had a sense of humor.
To: rarestia
I was actually agreeing with your post—Bill Gates is busy out there trying to destroy the middle class and the world economy these days.
15
posted on
10/13/2021 2:40:43 PM PDT
by
cgbg
(A kleptocracy--if they can keep it. Think of it as the Cantillon Effect in action.)
To: phoneman08
Naw, with a theory like that the last thing you would want me to do is “think”. LOL
16
posted on
10/13/2021 2:44:57 PM PDT
by
Kickass Conservative
(THEY LIVE, and we're the only ones wearing the Sunglasses.)
To: Rightwing Conspiratr1
Gonna need a bigger needle.
17
posted on
10/13/2021 2:46:14 PM PDT
by
Libloather
(Why do climate change hoax deniers live in mansions on the beach?)
To: Rightwing Conspiratr1
18
posted on
10/13/2021 2:49:05 PM PDT
by
Carriage Hill
(A society grows great when old men plant trees, in whose shade they know they will never sit.)
To: ransomnote
You are a complete idiot.
19
posted on
10/13/2021 2:49:59 PM PDT
by
Kozak
(The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. TV)
To: ifinnegan
Looks like the kid from The Brady Bunch.
20
posted on
10/13/2021 2:50:32 PM PDT
by
Carriage Hill
(A society grows great when old men plant trees, in whose shade they know they will never sit.)
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