Posted on 08/29/2021 12:20:51 PM PDT by sodpoodle
The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry midterm, and an actual answer turned in by a student.
The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct..... ...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.
Hi.
I have an answer(s)...
What is the temperature inside a black hole?
Either its -353 degrees Kelvin, or you are talking about Don Lemon.
Oh, “hole” not ho.
My bad.
5.56mm
I smiled but it would NOT be so rosy in today’s academia!
1) The Chemistry Professor has introduced a metaphysical / theological referent that penalizes the devoutly atheistic and non-traditional religious students. Thus all students, not of said ‘hellish’ religions, should be given automatic credit for this question.
2) THIS Chemistry Professor shall be suspended from teaching and pay until he satisfies the Department of Demonic Divinity and the Title IX Oversight as to his proper re-education regarding overreach into denied topics!
3) As for the student who claims he was Teresa’s sexual predator (no evidence being offered to the contrary), if his identified gender is male, then an immediate expulsion is ordered on IX reasons. If gender is other than male, then an immediate referral should be made to the Department of LGBTQRXBZ Affairs for status as tutor.
4) The person identified as Teresa, assuming in-school student status, will be required to report to Student Counseling for remediation of ¿her? JudeoChristian vocabulary, if not for full reprogramming!
By Order of the NEW ORDER University, Department of Diversity.
Good one!
At the UofA, Heaven and Hell do not exist, nor are there immaterial souls to populate Heaven or Hell. There are only material beings at the U of A and they party to oblivion.
Why would Hell be expanding at all?
By definition, classics are never too old.
The student's name was redacted on the copy the prof tacked on the bulletin board outside his office, but Teresa knew immediately.
Ping
I prefer the comedic counter corollary of that joke… "How many demons can dance on the point of a pun?"
BUMP for Theresa’s OLDER sister.
Or maybe even her divorced mother.
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