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FBI STASI Domestic Terrorism Program Bears Fruit (Satire)
7/13/21 | RetiredTexasVet

Posted on 07/13/2021 2:23:29 PM PDT by RetiredTexasVet

The FBI announced today that their STASI (STate Approved Snitches and Informants) Domestic Terrorism Program bore its first fruit.

FBI Director Wray detailed the enforcement of a "No Knock" warrant by the elite FBI SWAT team on a NW DC residence. The raid was justified by the information provided by a brave un-amed boy about his family and their potential domestic terror capabilities. Director Wray provided the information to US AG Garland who sought permission from the President, President Obama, to obtain the "No Knock" warrant. Judge Emmet Sullivan issued the warrant in accordance with the President's and US AG's wishes.

SWAT team members burst into the residence at 11:30 pm using flash bang and tear gas to disorient the household. An adult male and female charged the team, who feared for their lives, were dispatched quickly. Team members approached by a teenage male and teenage female, who were perceived pointing AK-47s at the team, who were also quickly dispatched although it was later determined that the objects were not AK-47s but a cell phone and personal handheld vibrator respectively.

The team seized several weapons of war, including a Nerf Machine Gun, two Red Rider Semi-Automatic Rifles and a Two Gallon Hose-M-Down Water Cannon (allegedly modified to disperse Biological and Chemical Toxins). Additionally, the team seized a Level III US Capitol mockup hidden in a Lego box. In the garage, the ATF contingent found bomb making materials including a case of empty beer bottles, 5 gallons of gas and a box of rags.

Happily, the family's 12 week old puppy escaped the residence avoiding the flash bangs and tear gas, but was unfortunately rendered two dimensional by a CNN News Truck that just happened to be on the scene.

The unnamed boy snitch was to be placed with his uncles family but authorities are unsure if this will take place due to unexpected resistence from members of that family.

US AG Garland and Director Wray declared the operation a success although less than optimal results were achieved. As Director Wray philosophized, sh-t happens and the public will have to get over it. Collateral damage happens when waging war against domestic terrorism.


TOPICS: Conspiracy; Humor; Society
KEYWORDS: sarcasm; satire; scorn

1 posted on 07/13/2021 2:23:29 PM PDT by RetiredTexasVet
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To: RetiredTexasVet

Babylon Bee is on Line 1. They’re accusing you of stealing their thunder.


2 posted on 07/13/2021 2:31:42 PM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks (Florida: America's new free zone.)
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To: RetiredTexasVet

This isn’t that far from the truth.

A quick read of what the FBI did to lock up those morons in Michigan could turn out to be a disaster for the DOJ and FBI.

Looking more and more like a clear case of entrapment.

Informant/Undercover FBI ..... we should kidnap the Governor

Homeless militia guy ..... I hate that b*tch

FBI SWAT.... Freeze. Hands up. Your under arrest for planning to kidnap the Governor.

On a side note....even if the so-called militia guys did talk about it, even planned it, wouldn’t it be a matter for the Michigan State Police and the Michigan Attorney Generals office? No federal official was “involved”. No one was kidnapped and taken over state lines. No banks were robbed. There was no terrorist-type attack.

Why then, the FBI?


3 posted on 07/13/2021 2:32:46 PM PDT by qaz123
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To: RetiredTexasVet

It doesn’t sound like satire. It sounds exactly like something those POSs would do.


4 posted on 07/13/2021 2:34:59 PM PDT by Mark17 (Air Force ATC, Retired. Father of US Air Force commissioned officer, and trained combat pilot )
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To: RetiredTexasVet

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LpNVlkRaccM

Others may have seen this but I just found it. 45 second Trump Rally


5 posted on 07/13/2021 2:48:46 PM PDT by pnut22
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To: Mark17

It doesn’t sound like satire.
……
Well, if the FBI is not disbanded, discarded or deposed, at least they have become the laughing stock of all .gov agencies. Who in heck would ever want to work for them?…wait, my eight year old might, he loves to build Lego blocks.


6 posted on 07/13/2021 3:00:09 PM PDT by delta7
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To: delta7

👍😀


7 posted on 07/13/2021 4:26:49 PM PDT by Mark17 (Air Force ATC, Retired. Father of US Air Force commissioned officer, and trained combat pilot )
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