Posted on 07/10/2021 12:17:16 PM PDT by ETCM
CARLSBAD, CA—After confiscating a LEGO Capitol Building from one of the conspirators of the worst day in our nation's history, January 6, FBI agents uncovered an even more sinister plot, saying the LEGO conspiracy is far worse than they had feared. They've traced the conspiracy all the way to the top, raiding a massive terrorist compound in Carlsbad, California.
"This place is terrifying," murmured an FBI agent scoping out the place, which had big letters over the entrance saying "LEGOLAND."
According to investigators, they found models of nearly every government building in D.C. throughout the park, models of a giant X-Wing and various other starfighters, and even people dressed up as LEGO characters -- all of which point to a terrorist plot to blow a bunch of things up around the world and across the galaxy.
"Ladies and gentlemen, we got 'em," said one agent as he put a man in a Ninjago costume into giant handcuffs and led him away. "These crazies won't be causing any insurrections anymore. I can guarantee you that."
The raid was fairly dangerous for many of the government agents. Some FBI agents tripped on a box of LEGO bricks in the gift shop, causing painful LEGO bricks to be scattered all across the floor. "We were lucky to escape with our lives."
At publishing time, sources had confirmed there were other "LEGOLAND" terrorist cells in Florida, Malaysia, New York, and all across the world.
Was checking out the “About Us” page at the Bee (they don’t have bylines on their articles) and found that it’s a small world. I know their Creative Director, though haven’t seen him in a long time. He’s gone from “starving artist” to Culture Warrior.
They did it again!
The Babylon Bee has to work very hard to create satire that outflanks the actual news.
To you know who you are.
Love the keyword
Oh dammit, you got me finally. LOL
How I love The Bee
They've got some very creative and talented folks who are not afraid to use their gifts. They poked plenty at Trump too, but always in good humor. So much comedy and satire just isn't funny anymore, as it's just bitterness and hate.
I bet the FBI regrets ever mentioning the Capitol Building LEGO set they seized.
ahahaha they’re good! :)
Whew!
We can all go back to blissfully grazing and sleep better tonight...
Baaaaa.... Baaaaa....
Thanks for the laugh!
The Babylon Bee gets me every time with their headlines and then their essay that I finally realize is great satire. They are the true inheritors of Johnathan Swift.
They had to go down. These guys have battleships.
Building an actual battleship would’ve been cheaper than that thing!
Almost had me….
Don’t you know “Lego” successionist code
Legoland = Let Go Land !
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