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With Pride Month Ending, Nation Excited For Lust, Gluttony, Envy Months
BABYLON BEE (satire) ^ | June 29, 2021 | staff writer

Posted on 06/29/2021 8:24:45 AM PDT by Marchmain

After a fun and exciting month of celebrating pride, the first of the seven deadly sins, Americans are gearing up to celebrate Greed Month—as well as Lust Month, Envy Month, Gluttony Month, Wrath Month, And Sloth Month.

"Yeah- it's been a great pride month. I feel so prideful!" said local man Sasparillo Gunderprit. "But what I'm really looking forward to is greed month. I'm gonna celebrate by accumulating wealth for myself by abandoning all my morals. Just like Nike and Disney! Yay!"

Baptist churches, on the other hand, are already gearing up for gluttony month, which has always been their favorite month since gluttony isn't actually a real sin—like being gay or drinking alcohol. Church members around the country are preparing their favorite cheesy sausage noodle casseroles and double-fudge cream custard desserts.

For thousands of Americans, collecting unemployment even though there are plenty of jobs available for them, it's already been sloth month for a while now.

BLM and Antifa have shrugged off upcoming official months, saying they can celebrate all seven deadly sins every day of the year.


TOPICS: Humor; Religion; Society
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; samesexsex; sins
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To: Marchmain

I nominate August for “sloth” month, and giving it a Hispanic flair, call it “siesta” month.


21 posted on 06/29/2021 10:07:15 AM PDT by yefragetuwrabrumuy (Do kids in Iceland still play "The Floor Is Lava?")
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To: Boogieman; All

22 posted on 06/29/2021 10:20:32 AM PDT by Diana in Wisconsin (I don't have 'Hobbies.' I'm developing a robust post-Apocalyptic skill set. )
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To: Liz
Biden's Lust month poster.

Nah, that young lady is about 15 years too old for gropey's taste (or sniff).

23 posted on 06/29/2021 10:22:59 AM PDT by Sirius Lee (They intend to murder us. Prep if you want to live and live like you are prepping for eternal life)
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To: Marchmain
Baptist churches, on the other hand, are already gearing up for gluttony month, which has always been their favorite month since gluttony isn't actually a real sin—like being gay or drinking alcohol.

Or dancing!

24 posted on 06/30/2021 8:31:12 AM PDT by Rummyfan (In any war between the civilized man and the savage, support the civilized man. Support Israel.d)
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To: Rummyfan

How do you make sure a Baptist doesn’t drink all your beer on a fishing trip?

Invite another Baptist.


25 posted on 06/30/2021 8:32:06 AM PDT by dfwgator (Endut! Hoch Hech!)
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To: Liz

What did she use to shave with back in those days?


26 posted on 06/30/2021 8:33:14 AM PDT by Rummyfan (In any war between the civilized man and the savage, support the civilized man. Support Israel.d)
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