9 Careers More Appealing Than Being A Police Officer In 2021

Being a police officer in 2021 kiiiiiiinda sucks, since, you know, everyone will hate you and you'll constantly be in fear of someone throwing a brick at your head or burning out your cop car just because. Well, we at The Babylon Bee have gathered up nine career choices that are MUCH more appealing than being a police officer in the current year. Check it out:

1. Honeybadger catcher - Instead of trying to wrangle up Antifa members, just try to catch some wild honeybadgers. Much easier!

2. Land mine tester - Much less deadly than policing in a Democrat-controlled city!

3. MAGA hat salesman in Portland - Compared to being a cop in Portland, you'll be loved and adored!

5. The guy at Facebook who has to examine photos flagged for having penises in them - This job sucks, but you're not hated by all.

6. Chrissy Teigen's publicist - OK this one is getting pretty close to being as bad as a 2021 police officer.

7. The guy at the recycling center who has to drink the last milk out of your plastic jugs - At least you know you'll be doing it for Mother Earth!

9. Christian movie reviewer - Alright, even we admit being a cop might be more appealing than watching every Christian movie that comes out.

Well, little would-be police officers in elementary school: pick one of these careers and get going!

There's some jobs with growing demand.

Perp disarmament Teacher - Still have to teach 6 classes a day and disarm perps in your community as necessary.
Unarmed social worker police substitute. Handles through dialog any hostage situation, crazy individual, violent individual, domestic violence situation, anarchist no go zone, violent or destructive political protest/riot.
Language definition modifier - Changes the meaning of common words to mean something different than most people understand.
State Department Trans Special Ambassador - Works to bring the benefits of bathroom confusion to other countries around the world.
Presidential nap adviser. Ensures the President is in bed by 5:30pm. Shuts down any interviews, video tapings, diplomatic meetings, or other events, where President appears tired.
Presidential Green Screen specialist. Works to make sure President is seen speaking to large non-existent crowds and can move his hands through microphones.
Election Audit Censor - Works to convince the public that all audits are horrible undermining of democracy.
Hunter Biden Art negotiator - negotiates secret deals with secret buyers to sell Hunter Biden art for exorbitant prices completely unrelated to anything Joe Biden is doing, has done, or will do for the secret buyers.

My son just graduated from the police academy and was given a green light by his FTO last week to go solo. His late uncle was a cop, another uncle just retired after 35 years as a cop and he tried his best to talk him out of becoming a police officer, telling him the left hates you regardless and conservatives for all their “support” will throw you under the bus unless you’re perfect human being and never ever make a mistake 24/7/52, no dice he wanted to be a cop. He went to college and hated it, despised it. I asked him what he wanted to do and he said cop. Are you sure? Yes he said, then I support you. He’s in a small city department of about 25 officers and a 10K population.

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