Interesting. The people I know from sophisticated California consider Boise good living.
I recommend that you not sell out Boise. Instead go for a series of visits. Perhaps rent an apartment. See if it is really what is remembered. Homesickness is an emotion that is irrational. She sounds irrational.
Find a compromise location. The Bay area and Boise are 2 ends of the spectrum. There are plenty of places in between that are less woke-crazy and less boondocks.
When we left CA a long time ago for Portland I looked down my nose at the locals...they were unsophisticated hicks far as I was concerned. But, I didn’t want to raise my daughter in that rat race where superficial things were so important. Plus, Ca was getting more dangerous. I was lucky to grow up there but that CA is gone.
We built two successful businesses in the NW - and now my daughter is a horse riding trainer in Redmond, Wa and my son travels the world while doing his tech job wherever he and his laptop are. There is life after CA and especially for the kids if you want them to think for themselves.
How about Texas or Florida?
Looking at your situation coldly it seems you are being set up for abandonment divorce...
Her move to Cali with the kids guarantees YOU will be paying the high taxes on top of alimony and child support. Of course she wouldn’t mind the higher expenses.
Consult a divorce lawyer ASAP to find out exactly what could happen with that move and what your options are...better to be prepared that blindsided down the road.
Trust but verify....it’s a hard landscape in these times.
Good luck.
There are other options.
Sounds like the wife is being influenced by the children.
I have lived in The ggreater metropolitan New York City area; the Greater Southern California area; Portland, Oregon, and New Orleans (until Katrina).
I now live in a town of 50,000, and have done so for 16 years.
Living in a different ‘world’ for nine months, is just ‘an extended vacation’!!
Tough it up, dude! Otherwise, you are lying to yourself, and your family will find out in time, not good!
Instead of moving back to Commifornia, just choose a different state. Lots of choices that would seem to satisfy the wishlist except for your old CA friends.
Sounds like you married a lib
I just don’t have any words.
But if you are a biblical Christian, you and she have a LOT of repenting to do.
What exactly is the “sophistication” she’s missing from CA? Homeless by the tens of thousands? High crime? Fecal matter on the streets?
Your wife is a snob
Sounds like the ‘siren call’ of a ‘worldly life’ ( your wife) is more powerful than an opportunity for your children being nurtured on good and lasting values!
For mercy sakes, don’t let her do this!
Think of your children!
Sounds like the ‘siren call’ of a ‘worldly life’ ( your wife) is more powerful than an opportunity for your children being nurtured on good and lasting values!
For mercy sakes, don’t let her do this!
Think of your children!
She is NOT a true conservative according to what you described, "Not being able to prosper" evidently means to her gaining the world at the cost of their souls, and is child abuse. If you have not done so yet, give your sins and life to the risen Lord Jesus who gave Himself for you, and pray for your wife to see the light.
And as the man you are to lead, but this should have been settled before marriage and children.
"Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?" (2 Corinthians 6:14)
But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. (1 Corinthians 11:3)
"But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace." (1 Corinthians 7:15)
However, the kids should stay with you.
Sounds to me like you're already dealing with insanity. And now she's telling you to double-down on insanity by moving back to California or you'll lose your family (divorce?)
If it were me, I'd keep the kids and tell her to go where ever the hell she wants. She's not doing any more damage to our children. (Been there, done that. Two boys who saw how crazy their mom was and chose their dad.)
My parents did this .... Cape Cod/Beaufort, SC. They wound up back on the Cape after 2 years. This happened in the early 2000s timeframe. Both were dyed in the wool Yankees and conservatives.
Something I've noticed about moving to a new place: You'll occasionally look back on it and feel a little heartsick about having left it. You'll miss certain things about the the old place too. But after a while, those longings will fade away.
The last state I lived in before moving to Sicily was Rhode Island, a real "Blue" shithole with onerous taxes, a dictatorial, entrenched ruling class, lousy public schools, horribly business-unfriendly laws and an annoying Trustafarian class of moneyed, whacko leftists who always get their way as far as policy goes. Yeah, there are some good restaurants and some "culture" too. But I was very glad, ecstatic in fact, to permanently GTFO of there.
Experienced a serious learning curve moving to a small, hilltop town in Sicily and yes, there are times I miss the US. And I even miss some things about shitty, busted-out Rhode Island, like clamcakes, fried clams, NY System weiners and a few of the cool, live music venues. But that's about it now.
Try staying in Idaho and I'm pretty sure your wife will eventually settle in. At the very least you'll "flush out" her true intentions.
There’s no room for negotiations... sounds like family first may not be your wife’s first priority.
Marriage is 50/50... If there’s no room for compromise...
Condolences. I wonder just exactly what “culture” does your beloved miss in California.
Get a new wife.