Posted on 05/23/2021 11:12:28 PM PDT by wac3rd
Sorry about the vanity, but here goes....my wife and I sold our Bay Area home and bought a nice place in suburban Boise. Our kids were in school, limited masks and life was about 80% of normal vs. 20% in California.
Fast forward to May. My wife hates it here. She is conservative but said she would pay the high taxes, property taxes and cost of living to avoid the culture here. She thinks that our school-aged kids will not be able to prosper if they stay here in Idaho. No exposure to worldly things, more blue collar, less sophistication, etc.
I miss our friends in CA, but can work here and make the same money, so can she.
I do not want to go, I think it's going to be a drought/fire/BLM summer and as soon as a new strain of COVID hits, lockdowns and more.
I am at an impasse. I could stay (she offered it) but lose my family, or go and just deal with the insanity.
I am going to move back because my family comes first but am extremely aggravated and sad to leave a place where they value God, the USA and freedom.
Sorry to vent. We have 7 years until the little one graduates HS, so I will hold out until then.
Anyway, anyone else heard of a blue state exodus who does a U-turn in 9 months?
Get a new wife.
“Anyway, anyone else heard of a blue state exodus who does a U-turn in 9 months?”
No...at least not anyone in their right minds.
You have bigger issues than just a move.
A few years later, another company contacted me that would involve relocating south of LA and about 15 miles or so inland. We had telephone conversations and on the $$$ side of it I told them plainly that I was not willing move from TX unless they would double my salary. No commitment from the company but they wanted to meet in person. By now I was able to extend my due diligence to checking the town and region and it just wasn't compatible for me. I turned down the interview.
Thanks for your experiences.
My range has been Northeast to Southwest and finally settled in the South decades ago before the 2nd wave of leftists now moving in. My experiences have been that no matter where I’ve lived, like people find like people. Small towns are stereotyped as unsophisticated and/or lacking in intellectual curiosity.
I’ve lived near universities my entire life - big and small towns. The stereotype evolved to where now it is leftist, intolerant, arrogant and indoctrinated (lacking both intellectual curiosity and honesty). Nonetheless, I have lived with/knew the few curious and intelligent in small towns, and the few conservative, intelligent, curious in college towns. We have a strange way to find each other. Some with PhDs, J.Ds., etc. - not country folk.
I don’t have a need to be surrounded by and pals with boatloads of people “who think, dress and act like me.” (It would be great only if they voted like me.) Same thing at work and church. We tend to find each other. And when I interact with lefties in common society, I extend the same politeness and manners I was taught at home, and as part of my faith to love one’s neighbor. (I am sure hey would be shocked if they knew “their enemy” was in their midst.)
I guess I am a maverick. When I went to the universities, we were taught to think for ourselves, be exposed to other people and ideas (even bad, immoral, hateful, racist, etc ideas) and learn to live (tolerate) it. I learned from great parents, and some great teachers, religious, and professors, but universities were different back then.
“She hates it here, even in a nice home with good schools.”
If someone close hates that which is good, you’ve got to ask yourself some hard questions.
We left Seattle for rural KY ten years ago. We love it here. Meanwhile, our friends from high school just last year left Seattle for the Idaho Falls are. we’re all 67 years old. We hate cold winters so Idaho was not possible for us. And I have to throw this out: Boise is the most liberal part of Idaho. It’s not where I’d go if I were fleeing a blue area.
And you didn’t mention California traffic. That’s the main reason I left Seattle. It wasn’t the cost of living.
And why would you lose your family. Is your wife threatening to dump you and move back to the cesspool? I’m confused.
Regarding the kids, you need to home school them wherever you live.
Well, she’s obviously got wrong priorities.
Exactly what does wifey miss in CA? Sounds to me like she is missing “someone.”
BINGO!
I need to add that about 40 years ago there was a huge property value increase in California and a LOT of people there sold their homes and moved to Seattle, only to get sick of the rain and move back.
Frankly, Southern California is one of the nicest places to live in the US mainland. Low humidity, ocean, mountains, fairly moderate climate, etc. Turn the clock back to the early 1960’s, when I lived there, and I’d move there in a heartbeat. But the politics and population have completely ruined it. I’ll never go back to ANYTHING in that state again. It’s become a sea of concrete, asphalt, graffiti and crushing government and traffic.
BTW, I used to live in Anaheim and Vallejo. My father’s family mostly lives in Napa.
I didn’t want to go there, but it does sound like that is what is going on. If it is going on, it will only get worse as the marriage “ages” without Christ.
Good, you won’t be missed in Idaho, you and your wife can go wallow in the $%^t and enjoy the CA. culture.
Emancipation day is 7 years away.
I got dumped at my lowest point in 2016. Best thing that ever happened to me.
My family is everything to me too. I’m also a former Californian, with most of my family being in CA (brothers, parents, uncles, aunts).
You did the right thing moving. I love the ultimatum by the way - move with us or stay here alone.
My retort would have been, “Sorry, I’m offering you the same deal.”
Seven more years and you’re free. Quite the helpmeet you got there.
And she’s no conservative.
Sorry to be blunt, but wake up. Stay in it for the kids, then pull the eject handles and parachute to safety.
My emancipation day is July 23, and I’ll be beyond the reach of the courts (she’s threatened twice to go back for more cash).
I bounced back very robustly from 2016. She got absolutely everything and everything she wanted. In fact, she got so much, she ended up giving me boxes of stuff she insisted on having that was mine; things she had zero interest in.
Now she’s with a guy she tolerates, who’s chronically sick, and her kids can’t stand her.
Maintain your virtue, and avoid substances, and work on yourself for the next seven years.
Lack of reason and accountability. Nothing more.
“She hates it here,”
I hear that but I really don’t hear the reasons.
Sometimes the reason is not the reason. You have to shake those things out.
I grew up in an urban area. When our kids were small, we moved to a university town(pop 35k) in Appalachia so the kids could grow up there. When they left, we moved to a county that has half the population of our previous town. A poster named Eschoir once mentioned a song called “Grow where you are planted” and I have tried to live that. Make the best of your situation. Paul said “In all circumstances, I have learned to be content”
So the lack of clear reasons is a sign of something and it may not be just her. Work towards compromise. The Bay Area to Idaho is an awfully big leap.
No wonder she misses the sophistication of California. It’s the party capital of the world!
https://www.cnn.com/2021/05/23/us/huntington-beach-party-unlawful-assembly/index.html
You need a new wife...not a return to insanity...
This isn’t about where you live. It’s about who’s in control. Your woman is issuing threatening ultimata generated in whine sessions at the local female hive-mind discontentment mill. And I think I can duplicate your reaction to the threat by dragging a string around the corner in front of my daughter’s cat.
She started this crap in Boise. If you forfeit the last of her respect for you by caving in, she’ll finish you off under the guns of the father-exterminating California family law system. If your initial reaction is to say to yourself, “But my Sweet Sally would NEVER do THAT,” you might want to get an intervention.
You really want to lose your family? Go west, young man.
For a time, I worked at least one week each month near Boise.
I was born and raised in a small town.
Yes, Idaho is different from where I was raised and what I enjoy, all of my friends.
To live in Idaho is like any other move, you leave behind all things familiar and that which defines who you are.
That said, Boise area remains on my short list of retirement destinations (Gotta live where I can earn a living!)
You honestly believe your kids will have a better school experience in CA? They’ll be so brainwashed you’ll probably lose them somewhere along the line. Get them into a private school where you are, that’s what we did when we moved from NJ to PA.
Next, regarding your friends and the life “left behind”. Please give it time and 8 months is hardly enough also moving again with a family is not teaching your children perseverance. Start looking for a good Church, you’ll make some great new friends.
It does take a few years to adapt but if you keep looking back you’ll never be able to look forward to your new “different” life.
In the end it’s your decision but I would wait and act as if you’re there to stay, you will start to enjoy it. It’s different and can be better if you seek it
Your wife is homesick. Plain and simple. Moving takes 2 years to adjust to. Fact.
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