Posted on 05/23/2021 11:12:28 PM PDT by wac3rd
Sorry about the vanity, but here goes....my wife and I sold our Bay Area home and bought a nice place in suburban Boise. Our kids were in school, limited masks and life was about 80% of normal vs. 20% in California.
Fast forward to May. My wife hates it here. She is conservative but said she would pay the high taxes, property taxes and cost of living to avoid the culture here. She thinks that our school-aged kids will not be able to prosper if they stay here in Idaho. No exposure to worldly things, more blue collar, less sophistication, etc.
I miss our friends in CA, but can work here and make the same money, so can she.
I do not want to go, I think it's going to be a drought/fire/BLM summer and as soon as a new strain of COVID hits, lockdowns and more.
I am at an impasse. I could stay (she offered it) but lose my family, or go and just deal with the insanity.
I am going to move back because my family comes first but am extremely aggravated and sad to leave a place where they value God, the USA and freedom.
Sorry to vent. We have 7 years until the little one graduates HS, so I will hold out until then.
Anyway, anyone else heard of a blue state exodus who does a U-turn in 9 months?
Till death fo us part....
I would consider California as
as the most “last resort” area
to move back to. Try Arizona.
She’s already stated that she’ll leave him sitting in Idaho by himself. Probably 90% or better chances she’ll get the kids. He’ll lose his entire family and maybe see his kids once or twice a year.
They need to work out something they can both live with with the move and then focus 100% on their marriage. It’s clearly got some major problems. Two people in a healthy, happy, stable relationship do not find themselves in this kind of situation where the choice of residence is about to split the family apart.
You need a new wife.
Too bad. CAs gonna suck even more in a couple of years and even more after that. Small town life is the way to go. I can enjoy every bit of digital entertainment the world has to offer, I still have my hobbies delivered to me via UPS or FedEx. What I don’t have are the pollution, congestion and the pile of rude stupids that populate every street and building. Small town life is such a blessing.
It’s kinda embarrassing when someone says Bosie isn’t ‘cosmopolitan’, I mean, seriously, are you even looking around? Russian restaurants, Ethiopian, a patisserie which could put some of the best in the US to shame, a fantastic soda bar, some surprisingly good sushi... Sounds like the wife doesn’t know how to use Google Maps and pretty much ignores the local facebook groups.
And considering my house in California has gone up in value about 25% in the last 9 months, I don’t think she understands how little the escape money will go coming back to California.
If she must have her taste of authoritarian California, Spokane is right up the road.
Marriage is a sacred life-long bond between a man and his wife; not a t-shirt you throw in the garbage when the colors fade a bit. Throwing away a marriage when things get tough is like spitting in the face of God.
Get divorced in Boise.
She’ll get the children, maybe (depends on the jurisdiction) and be forced to remain in a one county radius of where he is at in Idaho.
I went through a similar situation and prevailed even though I did not win primary custody. My ex is locked in the County where my son is growing up. Which of course is the way it should be.
She’s throwing it away with the ultimatum.
I’ve done it all and I’ll take a small city with a country feel any day...and I have that!
What I’ve also discovered along the way is it’s easy for a country persn to adapt to the city but city people have a heck of a time adjusting to the country.
She’ll find out the hard way once you leave you can’t go back...things will not be as they were.
It takes a year just to settle in with a large move as that. And another year to get well acquainted with the layout and people. She’s like “Homesick’ for the familar.
I’ll be she’s homesick for the familiar and doen’t know it.
TBH, I think this is deeper than where to live. It may be that the two of you need to find someone you both trust by way of a counselor. If you don’t know anyone, get recommendations.
How realistic is her going back by herself, with the children presumably. How would that work out financially without you, especially if RE prices are on the rise as someone suggested? And has she been back lately to see what it is like now?
A smart man would divorce her using the local Boise court system. This way, the Evil-As-Hell Divorce Court System in California cannot totally destroy your life as a man.
Send her packing back to the communist rat-hole that is California, and let her suffer under the jackboots of Pelosi, Newsom, and the rest of the psychopaths out there.
I grew up on an acreage and I miss it very much.
Divorce you moron wife.
The housing costs in the last nine months in California is off the rails. I'm in SB and my house has easily gone up 25%. Should be interesting how that is going to go for you two. Houses often have more than 6 offers. Here in SB it is up to 22 offers on a home.
A few here mentioned a compromise Red California area (maybe something not to far from your stomping grounds that you can visit?
You children will be fine and Boise is an excellent place to raise thriving children. But no place is great if you and your wife are not working together as a team.
So my advice is to make that a priority. I pray you both together find compromises and/or solutions that support and honor you both. And may your marriage become stronger because of it.
She might be surprised at how many Californians and NYers head there every summer for several weeks to brainstorm, hold events that stimulate the mind and cultural self (albeit VERY annoyingly liberal bent at times and has gotten increasingly so over the years.) It might be her cup of tea. I'm very cosmopolitan and sophisticated and attend many events in Sun Valley Idaho each year as do many across the country. But I also LOVE Boise.
Maybe share with her too how you guys can most likely do much more travel to the areas she loves and new places as well. I grew up in that area btw and very blessed creatively and intellectually because of it. There was a freedom that couldn't be replicated in a big city or a more 'culturally marxist' world you might find in the area you two moved from. But I'm unsure of your exact locations and situation when living in California.
Tell your wife you will agree to move if she gives up sugar consumption for a month.
If she agrees & follows through in 30 days her brain will not be as inflamed & her clarity of thought will be improved to where she won’t want to be so foolish as to think moving back into socialism is a good thing.
Don’t doubt me. I’ve watched hard core lefties come to the Constitution & exhibit conservative thinking after they’ve given up sugar.
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