Posted on 05/17/2021 10:51:49 AM PDT by SJackson
Humans (particularly men) have a bit of a tendency to believe they are tougher than they actually are, at least if quick glances at any YouGov poll are to be believed.
Take for example the 12 percent of men who think they could win a point in a match against Serena Williams, as if when a ball is being hit towards them at over 100 mph they could hope to achieve anything other than shielding their crotch
A new poll has looked at what animals humans think that they could beat in a fight while unarmed, with much the same overconfidence shining through.
The 1,224 US adults surveyed by YouGov were most confident that they could take a rat unarmed combat, with 72 percent of respondents believing they would win the fight, which seems fair enough. This was about the only non-controversial part of the survey responses, which saw 7 percent of men believing they could take down a grizzly bear, 16 percent saying that they could beat a wolf, and a whopping 22 percent willing to say for the record that they could take out a chimpanzee.
Weirdly, fights against lions were the only grudge matches that women were more likely to believe that they could win than men (7 percent vs 8 percent). Against the larger animals, differences were minimal, but always with men more likely to think they'd emerge against (e.g. a crocodile) being anything other than dead. 8 percent of all respondents believed that they could win a fight against an elephant – an animal which as well as having skin 2.5 centimeters (1 inch) thick, we very much stress is the size of an elephant.
Where differences between the genders became really apparent was with medium-sized and smaller animals. Despite great PR and aggression levels to back it up, a whopping 71 percent of men believed they could beat a goose in a fight. To this, the online response has mainly been: have you ever actually seen a goose?
There is, of course, ambiguity in how the survey was worded. For instance, are we fighting the animal in their natural habitat or the depths of space where they are most disorientated due to their lack of knowledge about gravity? Are they surprising us, say by popping up through the toilet, or do we get to jump down on them from a tree?
Perhaps the men of the poll believe that they will be treated to boxing rules, in which the fights are publicized months in advance, giving them time to study medium-sized dogs in combat and perhaps switch to southpaw to surprise them on match day. Or, maybe, people are wildly overestimating their abilities to fight wild animals, long after our civilizations have rendered having those skills (almost entirely) unnecessary.
Some walk away nearly unscathed, but only ifin’ the bear is distracted, and they have a knoife!
I think this speaks to how some people like to have fun with pollsters, and the pollsters still don't get it. They are stunned that men and women think they could beat up an elephant with their bare hands, when they should be realizing they are being played. I bet some of the people who answered they could beat a lion also said they would lose to a house cat.
Ask me an absolutely ridiculous question and I'll probably give an even more ridiculous answer.
I'd rather an alligator or bear.
If you have to shoot shoot, don’t talk.
5.56mm
You are assuming the dog comes at your face/neck. That’s the way they fight other dogs.
A good one will take you off your feet from an angle and circle you on the ground, faster than you can see him move.
And start the process of cutting you up and breaking bones.
Then he’ll back off and let you bleed out.
Sorry, but every single animal on that list would at the very least do a human major harm in a close physical struggle. Most would kill and/or dismember and eat without too much trouble. Maybe if they added a hen chicken, parakeets, and goldfish to the list. We are dominant because of our tools.
As the dog comes for you, grab the throat. Hang on. You may be bit, but you can then control the fight. I’ve done it several times against dogs bigger than 60 lbs and have won without injury.
—”I can’t believe anyone thinks they beat a Grizzly. That’s just stupid.”
A friend of a friend wrestled Victor the bear TWICE!
A large and muscular individual, he said the bear was so strong it was like wrestling a tree.
He also said bear’s breath was so bad, if face to face you would let go to escape.
https://deadspin.com/the-amazing-true-story-of-victor-the-wrestling-bear-1531930655
Years ago my dog, a Labrador, starting barking wildly in the house. I didn’t know why and looked out the window, saw an elderly man in my driveway with his little schnauzer looking dog (looked like a schnauzer but smaller, lap dog size) in a fight with a neighbor’s pit bull. I ran out to help (kept the lab inside) and the pit bull had the schnauzer in its mouth. The man was hitting the pit with his leash, to no effect of course. I ran up and kicked the pit bull in the chest. He spit the little dog out. Unfortunately it didn’t survive. But the pit bull complied with my commands. I knew where he lived and took him home. Became a political thing with the home owners of course, animal control came to ask me which of the two pit bulls it was but I told them I didn’t know. Other than trying to save the little dog, I stayed out of that.
Slow news day. Especially slow for that polling company.
Agreed completely.
The results are far too absurd to think everyone was answering seriously.
I suppose it was just this sort of banter that led to the Roman Colliseums.
In fact, I got a hankerin’ to wrasstle me up a grizzly.
Cats rule! Especially house cats!
I am Eagle on down. But I’m old. I used to think I could take the large dog with my wits if I had to. When they come into my yard, I’m still able to growl at them and get a standoff, but I’m always looking for a 2x4. My cat and I rough house sometimes and he generally gets his shots in. But I’m a big pussy when it comes to polishing him off.
How about a Shark?
You have to move the bait forearm into the attack vector. You don’t stand there with it 6 feet off the ground while its lunching into your nuts lol
Yes. Was banding a Great-horned Owl and was almost done and she started to wing-flap - a lot. Think about getting slapped in the face - multiple times. Haha!
Gave up on the measurement for mass and released her.
Do not mess with swans, either. A 37 year old Des Plaines guy was killed while kayaking near some swans in 2012. Probably got too close to their nest.
I don’t see why scoring a point in tennis against Serena Williams would be that difficult for a man with any skill and talent at tennis. John McEnroe famously said she would rank around 700 among men. To say he would win would be outlandish for anything below an exceptional tennis player, but scoring a single point doesn’t strike me as too far a reach for 12% of men.
Fighting wild animal, one-on-one, bare handed isn’t what humans excel. Lions, grizzlies, chimps and elephants would totally own the strongest men in that situation. Make it a party of men, and arm them even with just spears, or one man with a sufficiently powerful gun and the dynamic changes entirely.
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