Posted on 05/17/2021 10:51:49 AM PDT by SJackson
Humans (particularly men) have a bit of a tendency to believe they are tougher than they actually are, at least if quick glances at any YouGov poll are to be believed.
Take for example the 12 percent of men who think they could win a point in a match against Serena Williams, as if when a ball is being hit towards them at over 100 mph they could hope to achieve anything other than shielding their crotch
A new poll has looked at what animals humans think that they could beat in a fight while unarmed, with much the same overconfidence shining through.
The 1,224 US adults surveyed by YouGov were most confident that they could take a rat unarmed combat, with 72 percent of respondents believing they would win the fight, which seems fair enough. This was about the only non-controversial part of the survey responses, which saw 7 percent of men believing they could take down a grizzly bear, 16 percent saying that they could beat a wolf, and a whopping 22 percent willing to say for the record that they could take out a chimpanzee.
Weirdly, fights against lions were the only grudge matches that women were more likely to believe that they could win than men (7 percent vs 8 percent). Against the larger animals, differences were minimal, but always with men more likely to think they'd emerge against (e.g. a crocodile) being anything other than dead. 8 percent of all respondents believed that they could win a fight against an elephant – an animal which as well as having skin 2.5 centimeters (1 inch) thick, we very much stress is the size of an elephant.
Where differences between the genders became really apparent was with medium-sized and smaller animals. Despite great PR and aggression levels to back it up, a whopping 71 percent of men believed they could beat a goose in a fight. To this, the online response has mainly been: have you ever actually seen a goose?
There is, of course, ambiguity in how the survey was worded. For instance, are we fighting the animal in their natural habitat or the depths of space where they are most disorientated due to their lack of knowledge about gravity? Are they surprising us, say by popping up through the toilet, or do we get to jump down on them from a tree?
Perhaps the men of the poll believe that they will be treated to boxing rules, in which the fights are publicized months in advance, giving them time to study medium-sized dogs in combat and perhaps switch to southpaw to surprise them on match day. Or, maybe, people are wildly overestimating their abilities to fight wild animals, long after our civilizations have rendered having those skills (almost entirely) unnecessary.
Here on our small farm we have to do unarmed combat with animals all the time.
You just have to know the animal.
I have to man handle our geese all the time. Geese are all noise and aggression, but can only hurt a healthy person or animal in a superficial way. Any average adult could take one out if they just stood their ground
They could take on a cat also if it were a real struggle for life and death. You’re just going to have to endure a lot of pain to do it.
I can’t believe anyone thinks they beat a Grizzly. That’s just stupid.
I think I’d pay to see some of these matches on PPV. Could we start with Bill Maher vs. Chimpanzee???
I think it was Barbara Tuchman in one of her historical books that told of a ‘sport’ in the Middle Ages. A cat was nailed to a board by its scruff, and a man (obviously not a nobleman or someone with an IQ > 75 would attempt to beat the cat to death with his face.
No human would stand a chance against an angry chimp either male or female. To quote the Grateful Dead, ‘they’ll steal the face right off of your head’.
Elephant? Don’t be silly.
But it is interesting that the humans are disarmed in the ‘contest’ while the animals retain their weapons. The use of weapons is what made us dominant.
They should have polled the animals......................
25% of men dont think they can take on a rat in mano to mano combat. LOL!
Yup. Chimps will cripple you, then torture you. Blind you, eat your eyes, tear your lips off, eat them, your ears too, all fingers, toes, break your arms and legs. And leave you lying there alive while taking their time eating your calves, butt, etc.
Documented.
When I was a kid, one of my friends got their scapula broken by a canada goose.
No weapon at all is unrealistic. I’ve watched little boys, just barely walking, wield a stick like it was part of them. I’ve also watched the change in facial expression a dog gets when I pick up a stick. Animals know about sticks and men.
That’s life for Barry when Big Mike is around
Dogs you have to have the right technique. Offer a forearm positioned between the lunging dog and your throat. The minute it clamps on you bring the other arm around behind its head and give a quick and violent push forward with the bitten forearm while pulling in with the one behind its neck. Instant neck snap or the dog gags from having your forearm shoved deep into its mouth. Oh and yes... your foearm is not going to be pretty but you’ll to tell you grandkids.
Cause Honey Badger don’t give a schitt
P.S. Pays to practice the technique so its instinct before required.
A lioness at one time used be as a salt lick and put her front paws on my shoulders to get a look at me. I was in no way inclined to start a fight; most animals avoid conflict. This is a true story.
If a medium sized dog is 60lbs, less than 5% of all men would survive the encounter.
Assuming no weapons (bare handed).
Also assuming the dog does not back off and wants you dead.
—”The one physical feat that humans are better than most animals at is long-distance running.”
Sweat glands and weight.
Humans are covered with sweat glands, most other animals; not so much.
Usually, a human can run down a larger animal, if they do not turn around and attack.
The Plains Indians ran deer to exhaustion.
Most people have no idea of how strong and deadly the talons of a large raptor are. Like a vice with multiple stilettoes as contact points. And then you have the wing buffeting.
Big constrictor snakes are also underestimated, they squeeze incredibly hard.
Freegards
See my 51.
I know a woman who was attacked by her house cat while she slept. Nobody knows why it did such a thing. Bit her face, legs, hands, ears... scratched the heck out of her. She had to spend a night in the hospital and get antibiotics. Apparently this happens with some cats from time to time. Gave the cat away after that, even pays to keep it alive. Me, I would have put it down with extreme prejudice.
We were told to do just that, sacrifice your off arm and if the neck move doesn’t work you fall on them then get on your knees on top of their chest and hold on.
You might lose part of your arm, but when the knees come down on its ribs it WILL let go and try to flee, but keep your arm there so it can’t bite elsewhere while you bounce on it crushing the ribs.
So says a K9 trainer at least.
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