Posted on 04/24/2021 8:04:37 PM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
RENTON, WA—In a bold move for inclusivity, Wizards of the Coast announced today that all copies of the Dungeons & Dragons starter set will include a special D100 for determining your character's gender.
"Not sure if your Half-Orc Paladin is a demiboy or agender? Just roll this handy new die," said a WOTC rep. "It makes character creation fast, fun, and streamlined. And don't worry -- if you don't like your gender, just roll it again, no questions asked. In fact, you can do that at any point during the game without even consulting your DM. Change at any time."
"See, when you're playing a game that was designed for players to go raid dungeons, get loot, and kill dragons, the important thing is that you spend 14 hours trying to determine your character's sexuality, gender, sex, and political positions," he continued. "That's what made this hobby so popular: screeching leftists on Tumblr, and we have to cater to these hardcore fans."
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
DANG!
Shouldn’t there be some sort of penalty for cisgendered white players, such as dice weighted against their favor?
How about a die designed in such a way that when a cisgendered White person throws it, it bounces back and hits him in the eye?
This is just a ploy to sell more d120s next year when they discover 100 just isn’t enough.
Rolling a 1 is an automatic critical race theory and your character loses a point of intelligence which can never be regained. Conversely, rolling a natural 100 gives you vegan superpowers.
lol
I wonder if this will cause any self-reflection in the nerdy D&D community, LOL.
Hits him in the eye and calls him a “breeder”.
There really is (or was) a 100-sided die called the zocchihedron (spelling) for D&D. It looked like a golf ball and was really difficult to properly read. Needless to say, not many were sold.
The Bee is just a national treasure.
Lou Zocchi, in his early days, designed military war games. I think I still have one or two of his in the closet.
Not one iota.
Like the on-line community that howled in anger when inclusivity started to muck up video games, the get woke go broke slogan applies to the nerds. They tend to be a patient and understanding group...but do not preach to them.
Moreover, they are steathly creatures. They won’t yell about it, they will just hack computers and jack you up.
My youngest is a tech geek. In the 4th grade, he knew enough about computers to hack the administrative panrel in the science lab and reset everyone’s password while class was in session. He was attempting to target certain kids that had been bullying him all year. After he got on the phone with the developer and walked them through how he did it, he didn”t get in trouble. Free white knight hacker services, courtesy of a 9 year old.
Oh, and the school finally did something about the bullies!
So, what happens if the campaign decides to award one of the players with a sword or plate mail that adds a +1 gender bonus? The situation seems frail enough as it is, but adding an additional gender to a character may be enough to send the player over the edge.
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