Posted on 04/18/2021 11:29:45 AM PDT by BipolarBob
WASHINGTON, D.C.—To fund the Biden Administration's infrastructure spending bill, Democrats are proposing a new tax on the treasures Americans have laid up in heaven.
"It has come to our attention that some Americans have chosen to lay up their treasure in heaven instead of here on earth," said House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. "Americans who use heaven as a tax shelter are unpatriotic and aren't paying their fair share. We must address this problem."
According to biblical sources, Christians in heaven currently enjoy mansions, crowns, and streets of gold-- all tax-free. Their religious teachings actually encourage them to forgo amassing earthly wealth in favor of building up heavenly wealth through faith and good works.
"This is very immoral," said Senator Bernie Sanders. "It's simply inhumane to let people in heaven enjoy all that wealth when so many people on earth-- not to mention in hell-- are having to do with less!"
Since scientists and theologians have not yet found a way to confiscate wealth from the celestial realm, Democrats will estimate people's heavenly treasure based on religious fervor and will require the taxes to be paid in full from the people's earthly treasure before they die.
"This is much fairer," said Senator Sanders.
Ohio is already doing that - taxing intangible assets.
LOL!
Hell cannot be made too hot for Demonicnancy’s homecoming.
I( saw an old movie in which the Mexican government decided to tax the air everyone breathed.
So they taxed doors and windows.
End result was everyone bricked up their doors and all windows except one in which they crawled out of when the Tax Man was not looking.
Perhaps we need some fire and brimstone, at least to blot out that horrible face.
Would heavenly virgins count? Jihadi minds want to know.
They would if it were possible.
Fortunately, Jesus said Heaven is a place where thieves cannot break through and steal. (Matthew 6:20)
Good question. I must ask our local imam on this. We need a precise monetary value to be fair.
Some Godly intervention at this juncture would be most helpful and serve notice to the others to reverse course.
Yep - the way liberals think also; you can’t be happy while there are other people out there unhappy.
Praise the Babylon Bee, for they are funny, funny, funny.
Amen. We need something to break the tension of the nightly fear pornfest on what passes for the news. They should be held liable for the suicides/suicides-by-cop they cause.
Actually, that sounds kind of similar to what was popular during the Middle Ages. Rich folks would purchase “Indulgences” from the Pope, enabling them to continue doing wicked acts without undue concern.
A more modern description of that concept would be called
“Bribery” via ‘Leave Me TF Alone!- Money”
Estate Taxes
The rich nowadays must look upon those times with fondness. Imagine being able to “buy” ones way into Heaven without the remorse/guilt and more importantly no “go and sin no more” warning.
What about the 70 virgins waiting for Muslim warriors?
Maybe 50% tax? How much is a virgin?
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