Posted on 04/16/2021 8:20:25 AM PDT by BipolarBob
Guns are on their way out. And thank goodness! We can't wait to return to the utopian paradise we lost when guns were invented by Bob Gun back in 1804.
Still, once in a great while, you might need to defend yourself against a ne'er-do-well. When those ruffians come kicking your door down, you need to be ready. Here are seven great ways to defend your home against an armed burglar when your guns have all been confiscated:
1. Call your local social worker - Get on the phone and call up a state therapist to help you two work out your differences. They'll be there in 30 minutes or less!
2. Have your kids leave all their Legos out - A surefire defense strategy, though sometimes it backfires and you accidentally step on them yourself and PICK UP YOUR GOSH DARN TOYS, CALVIN!
3. Make sure to hang a gun-free zone sign in your window - It's a little-known fact that burglars must stop and not shoot you if you inform them your home is a gun-free zone.
4. Turn the thermostat up to 80 so it will be uncomfortably hot for burglars - After a few hours looting your stuff they will need to take a break and go outside to cool down and you can lock them out.
5. Bust out the Nerf guns - One of those crazy cool ones with the drum magazines your rich friends had growing up will surely intimidate the intruder.
6. Rig up a complex Rube Goldberg booby trap that incapacitates the criminals in hilarious ways - Hear us out on this one: they step on a panel that activates a wire that pulls down a bucket of water that goes down a funnel and pushes a bowling ball which swings down and hits them on the head causing permanent brain damage. Funny AND effective!
7. Ask them to hug it out - When all else fails just be the bigger man and ask the criminal to hug it out with you. Bring it in, man.
A pipe that will fill a 12 gauge round with a pvc cylinder slammer and a nail that will fire it
I don’t think it’s funny at all.
>>A pipe that will fill a 12 gauge round with a pvc cylinder slammer and a nail that will fire it<<
lol...I choose the shotgun that the ferrules will only be taken from my cold dead hands.
100. Bake pies and hold pie fights.
Burning arrows?
You’re half a quart low on humor fluid. Seek medical help immediately.
How about a home made flame thrower?
Copy and paste this for your next ‘Am Shooting Journal’ post.
The insect product called Raid has taken on new meaning.
Works every time - burglars respect 'gun free' zones. Always have - always will...
Once they manage to ban firearms, the next step will be to incrementally outlaw self defense - sort of like the UK. Can’t use knives. Can’t use bats. Can’t use more force than the criminal was using, etc.
Funniest 15 minutes in any movie ever. Joe Pesci says kids would want to give him their addresses so he could try and sneak into their homes.
Jam the door with participation trophies
Put up a sign that says Beware of the Chihuahuas in pussy hats
You need PVC, the black stuff is stronger
Hair Spray
A sparker to ignite
Very powerful you get one shot though make it count
The best home defense option for when guns are banned is a gun.
Crossbow
Its also a lot stealthier
Beta O’Rourke read this article and got major wood over it!
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