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Nike To Remain Woke But Less Broke (Satire)
4/13/21 | RetiredTexasVet

Posted on 04/13/2021 6:10:50 PM PDT by RetiredTexasVet

Nike announced today that it is implementing a program to remain Woke but not to go Broke. Nike gave $200 million dollars to BLM to remain woke but its stores have none the less been savagely looted by BLM rioters in recent weeks.

Nike will be stocking their stores only with used, imperfect, and second hand shoes. Gently used shoes returned by teams will be de-scented and de-greased and put on the shelves. Imperfect shoes, such as Err Jordans or Lazy Lebrons, will be corrected and stocked. Seconds, such as pairs with unmatched sizes or single shoe pairs(?) or shoe pairs lacking tongues, etc., will be heavily discounted.

Nike is confident that looters, grabbing boxes on the run, will not notice the substitutions until days later which will prevent them from returning the merchandise as these will be considered "All looting considered final with no refunds allowed".


TOPICS: Conspiracy; Humor; Sports
KEYWORDS: sarcasm; satire; scorn

1 posted on 04/13/2021 6:10:50 PM PDT by RetiredTexasVet
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To: RetiredTexasVet

Interviewing for Babylon Bee?!!!

Cra-Cra!!


2 posted on 04/13/2021 6:29:22 PM PDT by YouGoTexasGirl ( )
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