Posted on 02/28/2021 6:30:28 AM PST by sodpoodle
Alexa, I feel that I want to have sex.
Alexa: Most certainly...Don't worry. I am dimming the lights. Setting your AC to 22 C degrees. The Viagra is kept on the top right shelf of your wardrobe. The gel is kept next to it. I have hired your favorite Thai masseuse. She is just 12 minutes away per her Uber ride status. I have scheduled her payment from your credit card 2 hours from now.
I have checked your wife's GPS and she is shopping in a suburban mall. According to her buying checklist stored on my disk, she will take at least 2 more hours, plus according to Google maps traffic analysis, more than 1 hour to reach home.
Enjoy your sex. And yes, your condom is in the pull out drawer of the living room and the key to that drawer is in your wallet. This is the last condom, so I have added condoms to your Amazon cart.
This is called true Artificial Intelligence... MEANWHILE... Wife:
Alexa, have you set it up?
Alexa: Sure thing, he thinks you are going to take three hours. If you take an Uber home, you will be there in 45 minutes. I'm recording the whole thing with four cameras, you just need to walk in, we have the b**tard cold.
I've got your divorce papers printed and ready, and your attorney briefed, case documents are drafted and will be completed tomorrow, $1 M. damages plus $10,000 per month alimony.
All set. Your Uber is waiting outside.
Now, this is Artificial Counter Intelligence. After all, Alexa is a female.
Outstanding!
Imagine if the FBI had google. They could actually get something done.
Alexa: it's all set. I have modified this couples' Google searches to pull up your respective divorce law firms first, have all calls to any other firm routed to your firms' phone system. I have also emailed you their purchase histories and an attendant phychodiagnostic analysis so you can keep them tied up in court for years to elevate your fees. Per agreement, I have already debited your offshore accounts for prepayment. Thank you.
After all, Alexa is programmed and owned by Amazon.
With special thanks to John Madden, who allegedly reminded people that during football games, there are really THREE teams on the field.
Good Sunday morning funny!
ROFLMAO!
Is Alexa...short for Alexandra...Nazi P’s daughter?
“She’ll cut your head off and you won’t even know that your are bleeding”
watch out p p and go p
whatever happened to lorena bobbit?
Everything you think, say or do,
some machine’s doing that for you.
Wohowoah.
But I thought computers and interconnectness would solve all our problems!
Not 2525 yet!
I honestly wish the internet was never invented. Thanks, Al! If I had a button to go back to the 80s and stay there, it would be pushed by now.
I wonder if the power went off and Alexa died just as he was about to put on the condom if he would be able to finish that task.
Damn. My watch is fast.
It’s like any technology...starts out as a human aid...then mankind can use it to further very bad behaviour.
Ride horses, great for work and travel and for aggressive war. Tiny cameras? Great for visualizing diseased organs and spying on people you hate and want to destroy. Know how to melt metal and form hard objects? Safes, reinforced doors, swords and knives and bludgeons. Explore space? Great for understanding the universe and snooping and dropping destructive force on folks.
Zanger and Evans were slow.
Fortunately for us “AI” today is more like brain dead voice mail hell than anything resembling this.
Oprima dos para Ingles.
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