Posted on 01/14/2021 12:43:56 PM PST by BipolarBob
WILMINGTON, DE—President-elect Joe Biden gave a press briefing from the basement of his Wilmington mansion announcing that his incoming administration will be utilizing an innovative skin color chart to determine who is the priority in receiving their share of the $900 billion federal coronavirus aid package recently passed by Congress.
“Our priority will be black, Latino, Asian, and Native American-owned small businesses, women-owned businesses,” Biden informed the nation. “We are sending out a new color chart to all agencies involved to make sure there is no malarkey with white males and those with melanin deficiencies cutting in from where we are placing them at the back of the line.”
Experts praised the administration’s new color chart as being very unambiguous, black-and-white even, on who the government was going to help and not help.
“This is a real progressive reform in the way a government receives money from some people to help certain other people based entirely on melanin,” said Kristen Clarke, Biden’s nominee to lead the Department Of Justice and all-around expert in genetics. "Melanin endows black people with greater mental, physical, and spiritual abilities, so it is only right that they get government aid first.”
At publishing time, Biden was seen sniffing people while trying the new skin color chart to see if people smell better or worse based on melanin too.
Pretty sure my skin color isn’t on the list!!
Except basketball!!!
That’s a sef-wurff esimator.
I’m kinda ecru.
Ask Sherwin Williams!
Biden is providing color charts to all federal funding agencies to make
sure superior all-white males with melanin deficiencies dont cut in line.
However, Biden’s tolerance and compassion got the better of him.
He announced SOME white males could qualify for federal funds
only IF they have pre-pubescent little girls willing to come to the Oval Office after-hours
(when Dr Jill is busy seeing patients).
That one almost had me.
If you visit the Holocaust Museum in DC you can see the machines used to measure cranial size.
That and a blood test should get it done....
;-)
If you visit the Holocaust Museum in DC you can see the machines used to measure cranial size.
That and a blood test should get it done....
;-)
I hate whoever writes the Babylon Bee articles.
That was so stupid and I almost fell for it...
LOL
I am going to the tanning salon...
It may pay for itself.
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