Posted on 11/02/2020 4:23:53 PM PST by BipolarBob
NEW YORK, NY—The College Board is announcing significant changes to its SAT in an effort to remain a relevant measure of college readiness. Starting next year, all test questions related to math, science, and reading comprehension will be replaced by a single coloring page depicting a likeness of Donald Trump and a space to draw devil horns on his head.
"We wanted to boil everything down to the basic essentials of what today's students need to be successful at today's progressive state colleges," said College Board spokeswoman Cynthia Borshvittle. "For most publically-educated students today, literacy and math skills are a useless remnant of a bygone era. Today, we must train our students in one thing, and one thing only: progressive politics. It's all about ideology. Nothing else matters now."
Sources confirmed that the SAT will still require a #2 pencil for completion, and will be graded on a sliding scale based on how disadvantaged or oppressed the student is.
"This is just a first step for us," said Borshvittle. The College Board has plans to further improve its testing in the future by grading students on their ability to pull down statues and throw Molotov cocktails
But how can that be a college readiness test? If they can do that they already have the degree equivalent!
SO? Where is the satire?
You’re saying “no wonder” in reply to a sarcasm site :)
Are you referring to the underlying reality that the sarcasm is based on?
Some of us (me) aren’t as sharp as others :)
Don't sell yourself short. You're sharp as a marble.
jk
Now that’s funny.
the winners are those who chose an orange #2 pencil
Ok.
That would make a dandy tee shirt!
D’oh!
Curse you, Bee Man person!!!
That requires an effort.
Still racccissssssss!
Exactly. I have been reading these Babylon Bee articles for a long time. People say it’s satire, but it just escapes me altogether.
Dang
I can’t even draw a hangman
I’ll never pass this test...
Dang
I can’t even draw a hangman
I’ll never pass this test...
The alternative is a fill-in-the-blank.
“The Orange Man is _____.”
Or....
“Orange Man ___!”
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