Posted on 10/29/2020 9:45:51 AM PDT by BipolarBob
SAN FRANCISCO, CA—Jack Dorsey was summoned to the Senate's hearing on Big Tech today, but he was tripping on acid with the spider-monkeys off the southern coast of St. Bart's, so he quickly called up his office and had his people hire a homeless man hanging out in front of Twitter's headquarters to fill in for him.
The hobo was holding up a sign reading "Will Go to Senate Hearing for Crack," and Dorsey's assistants quickly hired him for the hearing.
"Yeah, uh, censorship, I like that. That's good stuff," said the hobo to the confused panel. "The apocalypse is coming, man. The signs are all around us!"
"Sorry, Mr., uh, Dorsey, we were expecting a professional-looking CEO, but you're clearly just a hobo off the streets of San Francisco," said Senator Mike Lee. "Couldn't you at least have taken a shower before talking to the United States Senate?"
"Hey, bro, chill out," the hobo responded. "Don't harsh my mellow, man. I'm doing this for a couple bags of blow and a $20, man. You suck!"
For his part, Mark Zuckerberg programmed a lookalike android to testify.
I have heard this guy mentioned, but never saw him before.
Like millions of Americans, when I saw his picture here for the first time, my thought was not a positive one:
“Good God. He is a loser. One of those people.”
And yes, I am judgmental. Particularly about appearance, and particularly in front of millions of people on a critical subject.
I am personally intolerant of facial hardware, though if it is a personal interaction, I don’t much care, that is their business. In any professional or public setting, I find everything it says about most people who would wear it in those settings to be disparaging.
The unkempt looking beard was a bonus.
Sobering. And they absolutely despise us.
It is mutual.
Seinfeld : "Not that there's anything wrong with that".
If he really perjured himself, why is he not being arrested. What is it actually going to take?
I have a relation who came to a Thanksgiving one year with these damn steel pins protruding from each nostril with a little bulb on each end.
He sat across from me the entire dinner, and I expected a snot to drip out on one or both of them at one point.
I tell this story often-years ago, my wife and I went to see a movie and had had to Stand in a long line to get in. As the lines snaked around, and we got closer, I could see that the guy who was selling the tickets had some kind of disability. It was clear that as an adolescent, he obviously had a lot of acne, which made me feel kind of bad for him. Being a teenager is hard enough, but having your skin erupting like that makes it even worse.
What really made my heart go out this kid though, was that he had obviously had some kind of surgery of a reconstructive nature, and was wearing a prosthetic of some kind on his upper lip that I could see.
All I could do was shake my head. That is a tough luck of the draw kind of thing. And the prosthetic covered the whole side of the right upper lip. There was no way to hide that, obviously.
Then, when we got up to him, I realized that he did have a prosthetic on his upper lip at all. He had several dozen small still rings inserted through his upper lip.
I know this sounds kind of funny, but I actually got mad thinking I had squandered compassion (almost as if it were something that had a finite amount and could not be spread around for some reason) and ended up regarding him with what amounted to a cold irritation when I purchased my tickets.
I admit to being very judgmental about these things, just as I am judgmental about people who are not forced to, but they wear slovenly, dirty clothes that are in need of patching. (Just to be clear, this is not how I feel about people who are down on their luck, or very poor, it is how I feel about someone who has the means and the resources not to wear those types of clothes... But simply do.)
I also feel that way about people who live in filth with junk laying all around when they do not half to...wich is most people. Almost everybody can pick up trash.
I suppose to some people, that makes me a bad person.
Fentanyl *is* all the rage right now. From what I have learned, the stuff it’s made with is abundant in Mexico and it requires minimal effort to process.
You are probably on to something.
But, there is no possibility that the Dorsey freak was clean and sober. Quite a splendid spokeshole.
I *love* the Trump tweets for all of the reasons the Pierre Delecto wing of the party hates them.
The President can do an end run around the media and speak directly to us. He can also, with one tweet, grab control of the news cycle for 48-72 hours.
Sometimes, he does it just for fun. They are so damn predictable.
I guess he didn’t have Pelosi’s connections to hire a hair dresser in Shutdown Francisco.
DANG!
Yep. He looks like he’d be perfectly fine voting for Joe Trunalimunumaprzure.
Hilarious! Babylon Bee rocks.
Whatever happened to the Onion? Seems to have gone the way of Matt Drudge.
It’s still around but due to them being snots we were banned from posting any of their stuff here on FR.
*If* he had a Harley under his ass, he would look fine.
The lesson here is, don’t look like you should have a Harley under your ass when you don’t.
LOL, he brought this on himself!
For some reason, my brain wants to connect that to Soylent green and the “furniture” women who came with the upscale apartments.
:D
It would seem that SNL is preparing for a Trump win
https://twitter.com/i/status/1322762107536973826
I completely see the connection with Soylent Green...though, I have never head the phrase “furniture women”...it seems to need no explanation!
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