Posted on 10/21/2020 2:55:24 AM PDT by sodpoodle
I am over 80 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards.
Instead of sending 18-yearolds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 55.
For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a month, leaving us more than 280,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' We are bad-tempered and impatient, and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.
An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 am. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.
If captured, we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.
Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.
They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.
Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.
An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.
These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.
Let us old guys track down those terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million pissed off old farts with bad attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them.
HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50... in menopause!!! You think MEN have attitudes?? Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They'll have it secured the first night! Send this to all of your senior friends... it's in big type so they can read it.
“How many guys over 60 would be willing to storm Omaha beach or sands of Iwo Jima. Not many.”
That’s because many 60 and over have gained wisdom throughout the years and would blast those fortifications to smithereens from a distance then go in and mop up. Depends not necessary.
#8 Did you spend your money on magic beans.... again?
https://cdn.safe.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/beanstalk260.png
I’ve been a proponent of this since forever...
Just not as eloquently stated...
If they are going to implement it, better hurry up... At (almost) 87, I’ve probably only got 15-20 years of availability left to return to Parris Island for re-training...
Of course I know it has changed since 1951... But I can learn to wear women’s panties and get rainbow tattoos...
In 51 we were only trained to both adapt and kill...
Sounds like the plot premise for “Oldmans War” LOL
War is hell.
LOL!
I’m old enough to have been in the service and issued a real serial number not associated with my Social Security Number.
It’s been burned into my brain forever. So secret you can’t even find it in any of the military online databases I’ve seen. When they switched me over to the SSAN version it just disappeared. But not on the dog tags I have. Very useful; it forms the basis for many passwords I have.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.
