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enjoy;)
1 posted on 09/01/2020 4:00:05 AM PDT by sodpoodle
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To: sodpoodle

I created this one back in 2009...

I want to go parasailing with Sarah Palin, but I am B’Roke O’Bummer.

Judi Bonello


2 posted on 09/01/2020 4:05:04 AM PDT by HypatiaTaught (Ovid- A Sheep. Baa Baa)
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To: sodpoodle

I will use these!


3 posted on 09/01/2020 4:10:52 AM PDT by \/\/ayne (I regret that I have but one subscription cancellation notice to give to my local newspaper)
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To: sodpoodle

We refer to the medieval era as “the dark ages” because it was always knight time :-)


4 posted on 09/01/2020 4:12:37 AM PDT by Joe 6-pack (Qui me amat, amat et canem meum.)
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To: sodpoodle

Thanks, I needed that!


5 posted on 09/01/2020 4:22:01 AM PDT by Psalm 73 ("I will now proceed to entangle the entire area")
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To: sodpoodle

Mayonnaise a snake next to your foot!


6 posted on 09/01/2020 4:23:11 AM PDT by The Duke (President Trump = America's Last, Best Chanca)
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To: sodpoodle

Since I retired I can to nothing well


7 posted on 09/01/2020 4:30:29 AM PDT by where's_the_Outrage? (Drain the Swamp. Build the Wall.)
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To: sodpoodle

8 posted on 09/01/2020 4:30:57 AM PDT by Delta 21 (everyone needs to read this.)
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To: sodpoodle
WTH?

I thought this was a thread about the new LC500 Convertible?


11 posted on 09/01/2020 4:35:21 AM PDT by newfreep (The Communist/DNC VOTER FRAUD is Trump's ONLY opponent in 2020 election.)
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To: sodpoodle

What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese.


12 posted on 09/01/2020 4:38:06 AM PDT by zeebee
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To: sodpoodle

We turned our cities to char and ashes because Black Lives Matter.

Not funny?


13 posted on 09/01/2020 4:46:28 AM PDT by I-ambush (Got arrested for inciting a peaceful riot)
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To: sodpoodle; Daffynition
EXCELLENT. Thanks! :)

Everybody knows that puns are the lowest form of humor. Nothing like 'em to bring out the inner child (and to eviscerate the wise).

The exalted will be humbled and the humble will be exalted:

Luke 18

15 And they brought unto him also infants, that he would touch them: but when his disciples saw it, they rebuked them.
16 But Jesus called them unto him, and said, Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.
17 Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child shall in no wise enter therein.
18 And a certain ruler asked him, saying, Good Master, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?
19 And Jesus said unto him, Why callest thou me good? none [is] good, save one, [that is], God.

If the King James is good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for me!

Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.

After all, the Kingdom of God *is* the Kingdom of Good. It's the simple meaning. :)

14 posted on 09/01/2020 5:13:23 AM PDT by Ezekiel (The pun is mightier than the s-word. Goy to the World!)
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To: sodpoodle

Today’s word is.................fluctuations.
I was at my bank today; there was a short line.
There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was
trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated.
She asked the teller, “Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen.
Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?”
The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, “Fluctuations.”
The Asian lady says, “Fluc you white people, too.”


15 posted on 09/01/2020 5:40:48 AM PDT by HippyLoggerBiker (Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.)
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To: sodpoodle

The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar. It was tense!


16 posted on 09/01/2020 6:03:20 AM PDT by ShadowAce (Linux - The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
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To: sodpoodle

The pot smoke was so thick in San Francisco that I walked into a pole.

“KURWA!” he said.


32 posted on 09/01/2020 7:05:36 AM PDT by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
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