To Be a Democrat Today, You Have To Believe …

As I watch the nightly news from urban liberal war zones like Portland or force my eyeballs to stay open through the Democrats’ virtual convention, I keep thinking, “We’re through the looking glass, people!” And that’s not just an expression. I mean that, like Carroll’s mad Red Queen, in order to be a Democrat in 2020, you are required to believe an unlimited number of impossible things. The Party’s embrace of “Alice In Wonderland” level madness inspired me to start making a list of these impossible things. To be a Democrat today, you have to believe …

1. That a pre-born human baby is not a human being deserving of protection from killing, and neither is a baby that was born 10 minutes ago if the mother decides she doesn’t want to keep it.

2. That capitalism, which has lifted hundreds of millions of people out of poverty and despair worldwide, is evil; but socialism, which has caused the oppression, impoverishment, starvation and death of hundreds of millions of people over the past century, is the only hope of the future.

3. That the best solution for rioting, looting, arson and violence in the streets is to defund the police.

4. That all the gains in the economy under Trump were really caused by Obama, but the worldwide economic crash following China’s unleashing of a pandemic was caused by Trump.

5. That Trump has a plan to rig the next election that involves making the Obama Administration remove thousands of mailboxes several years ago. Also, that the Post Office is removing little-used mailboxes in Oregon because the key to Trump’s reelection is for him to win Oregon.

6. And on that subject, that nobody ever complained about the US Post Office being slow, inefficient and unreliable until Trump was elected.

7. That America is an oppressive, racist, white supremacist nation that’s the root of all evil in the world and its culture is inferior to that of other nations, including the many nations where people are willing to risk their lives just for the chance to come to America.

8. That Trump built “cages for children” on the border during the Obama Administration.

9. That viruses spread like wildfire at church services, but not at crowded protest rallies for left wing causes. Also, viruses spread at bars that serve chips, but not at bars that serve sandwiches. Because “science!”

10. That people with male genitals are women just because they say they are, but people who say that actually having female genitals makes them women are intolerant, transphobic bigots.

11. Also, hospitals must be forced to give gynecological exams to “women” with male genitals, and taxpayers forced to pay for abortions for them.

12. Again on that subject, that someone born male who developed a muscular masculine physique before deciding he was a girl has no unfair physical advantage in sports over the much smaller teenage girl whose face (s)he is crushing into the wrestling mat.

13. That Trump botched the response to COVID-19 by xenophobically shutting down travel from China and crashing the economy with a shutdown, but Democrats would have prevented both the pandemic and the crash by not stopping travel from China and shutting down the economy sooner, harder and longer. Also, it’s absolutely impossible for Trump to keep people from crossing our border, but he could have kept a virus from crossing our border.

14. That an acceptable way to express how much you care about black lives is to burn black neighborhoods, loot black-owned businesses and tear down statues of abolitionist leaders. Also, that all black lives matter except those of black cops, black Republicans, and black pre-born babies.

15. That free healthcare is a right, free college is a right, free food is a right, a guaranteed paycheck is a right and citizenship for illegal immigrants is a right; but free speech and freedom of religion are not rights.

16. That the people who presided over the rise of ISIS, the Iraq and Afghan wars, a nuclear Iran and North Korea and even Iran falling to the Mullahs in the first place, are trusted diplomatic professionals, while the man who crushed ISIS, dealt with Iran and North Korea and crafted a historic Middle East peace agreement is a dangerous amateur who’s destroying our foreign policy.

17. That disproven rumors are evidence that Trump colluded with Russia to undermine a presidential election, but Democrats paying Russians for disproven rumors and using them as “evidence” to launch a Deep State coup is not collusion with Russia to undermine a presidential election.

20. That burning a flag is protected free speech, but objecting to someone burning a flag is not.

Okay, this could go on forever, so I’m going to stop at 20 and let you add to the list in the comments. Have fun, if that’s not impossible these days …

This is The Democrat Creed—what they truly believe (hat tip Michael Kelly).

The left believes in President Bill Clinton. And has always believed in him. They believed it when Clinton said he had never been drafted in the Vietnam War and believed him later when Clinton said he had merely “forgotten to mention” that he had been drafted in the Vietnam War.

The left believed him when Clinton he said he hadn’t had sex with Gennifer Flowers and believed him later, when Clinton reportedly said he did bed her down.

They believe the president did not rent out the Lincoln Bedroom to celebrities, did not sell access to himself and the vice president to hundreds of well-heeled special pleaders and did not supervise the largest, most systematic money-laundering operation in campaign finance history, collecting more than $ 3 million in illegal and improper donations.

The left believes that Charlie Trie and James Riady were motivated by nothing but patriotism for their adopted country.

They believed President Clinton when he conceded that his administration mistakenly obtained the FBI files of more than 300 people, including many top Republicans and believes it was the result of a “completely honest bureaucratic snafu” involving security clearances.

The left believed Clinton’s chief of staff, Leon Panetta, when he told reporters that “obviously a mistake was made” and apologized to the people whose FBI files wound up at the White House. They believed Clinton when he said “I completely support” what my COS Panetta said about the affair.

They believed Vice President Gore when he said that he had made dunning calls to political contributors “on a few occasions” from his White House office, and believed him when he said that, actually, “a few” meant 46.

The left devoutly believes in no controlling legal authority....but not for Nixon or Trump.

They believed Bruce Babbitt when he said that the $286,000 contributed to the DNC by Indian tribes opposed to granting a casino license to rival tribes had nothing to do with his denial of the license. Brooks believed the secretary when he said that he had not been instructed in this matter by then-White House deputy chief of staff Harold Ickes.

The left believed him when he said later that he had told lobbyist and friend Paul Eckstein that Ickes had told him to move on the casino decision, but that he had been lying to Eckstein. They agreed with the secretary that it is an outrage that anyone would question his integrity.

The left firmly believes in the “Clinton Standard” of adherence to the nation’s campaign finance and bribery laws, enunciated by the president on March 7, 1997: “I don’t believe you can find any evidence of the fact that I had changed government policy solely because of a contribution.”

They believed him when he said later that he had told lobbyist and friend Paul Eckstein that Ickes had told him to move on the casino decision, but that he had been lying to Eckstein. They agreed with the secretary that it is an outrage that anyone would question his integrity.

All of the accomplished lefties including the media noted with approval the use of the word “evidence” and also the use of the word “solely.” Lefties believe, as Clinton does, that it is proper to change government policy to address the concerns of people who have given the president money, as long as nobody can find evidence of this being the “sole” reason.

They believe President Clinton lived up to his promise to preside over the most ethical administration in American history that indicted former agriculture secretary Mike Espy did not accept $35,000 in illegal favors from Tyson Foods and other regulated businesses.

The left believes that indicted former housing secretary Henry Cisneros did not lie to the FBI and tell others to lie to cover up $250,000 in blackmail payments to his former mistress.

They believe that convicted former associate attorney general Webster Hubbell was not involved in the obstruction of justice when the president’s minions arranged for Hubbell to receive $ 400,000 in sweetheart consulting deals at a time when he was reneging on his promise to cooperate with Kenneth Starr’s Whitewater investigation.

The left believes, as Harvey Weinstein does, that Paula Jones is a cheap tramp who was asking for it, that Kathleen Willey is a cheap tramp who was asking for it, and that Monica Lewinsky is a cheap tramp who was asking for it.

They firmly believe Monica Lewinsky was “just fantasizing” in her 20 hours of taped conversation in which she reportedly detailed her sexual relationship with the president and begged Linda Tripp to join her in lying about the relationship and that any gifts, correspondence, telephone calls and the 37 post-employment White House visits that may have passed between Lewinsky and the president are evidence only of a platonic relationship.

The left believes that such” innocent intimate friendships” are quite common between middle-aged married men and young single women, and also between presidents of the United States and White House interns.

They see nothing suspicious in the report that the president’s intimate pal, Vernon Jordan, arranged a $40,000-per-year job for Lewinsky shortly after she signed but before she filed an affidavit saying she had not had sex with the president.

Nor did they read anything significant into the fact that the ambassador to the United Nations, Bill Richardson,
visited Lewinsky at the Watergate to offer her a job.

The left believes the instructions Lewinsky gave Linda Tripp informing her on how to properly perjure herself in the Willey matter “simply wrote themselves.” (Tripp declined)

The left devoutly believes, as does Hillary, that The Washington Post, the Los Angeles Times, The New York Times, Newsweek, Time, U.S. News & World Report, ABC, CBS, NBC, CNN, PBS and NPR are all part of a vast right-wing conspiracy to malign the saintly Clintons.

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