Posted on 07/04/2020 1:07:15 PM PDT by Cvengr
The District of Columbia informed the team that they cannot return to playing within the district until they have a name that is more fitting for a team representing the capital of our country. To that end, the team officially announced today they would be renaming themselves to "The Washington Lizard People."
"This is a much better name, far more reflective of the great city of Washington, D.C.," said Eleanor Holmes Norton, D.C.'s representative. "All the politicians, bureaucrats, and leaders here in the district felt the name had great appeal."
... Politicians immediately expressed their support for the name change, saying they can relate to a team called the Lizard People. "I see a name like Lizard People, and I know that's a team I can be proud of," said Adam Schiff, his eyes hungrily following a fly buzzing around the room. He licked his lips. "Much better than that Redskins nonsense. Hey, look over there, is that Vladimir Putin?" As reporters turned to look, Schiff shot a long tongue out of his mouth, lightning-quick, and nabbed the fly. "Oh, must have been mistaken," he said, shrugging.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
We already have the Washington Nationals, Wizards, and Capitals.
How about the Washington Politicians or, if we want to be apolitical, the Washington Bureaucrats. Both are overpaid, do very little, and only do the right thing after trying everything else.
Seems like a perfect fit.
>>Too Jewish.<<
They could be the “Washington #6”s.
Well there was the Senator’s BB team, maybe Congress Critters?
They currently have Nationals, Capitals and Wizards. I guess they ain’t gonna revive bullets.
OMG. That name is perfect.
How about MelaninSkins?
San Francisco Stool Pushers.
Swamp Dwellers
How about calling them the Washington Slimes. Slime is common on the surface of most swamps.
Better.
Tyrants.
Swamp Rats.
.
Swamp Cleaners ?
.
As long as we’re on a parody thread here’s a possible solution. Rename the team the DC Trump’s. Make the uniforms resemble the flag colors and disallow kneeling.
Yeah, the idea came from the Trump2020 NASCAR entry but it might help the NFL audience just on the hate factor alone, plus some football fans who had given up watching might just tune in to see this team.
And I bet there’s be so much WINNING it would infuriate the left. :-)
Yeah, the Bee is stealing our ideas! I thought it should be the Washington Tapeworms, because DC is full of disgusting parasites.
A vegan group said they should keep the name Redskins, but change their mascot to a bag of red potatoes.
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