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Clever Churchgoers Avoid Arrest By Disguising Themselves As Rioters
The Babylon Bee ^ | June 1 2020 | The Babylon Bee

Posted on 06/01/2020 12:36:47 PM PDT by xp38

LOS ANGELES, CA—Religious people in Southern California have found a bold, creative solution for in-person meetings in spite of the continuing lockdown. This past weekend, several area churches attended church services disguised as righteously indignant rioters.

"We already have the righteous indignation thing down," said one church elder. "Now, we've simply added black balaclavas, hoodies, Guy Fawkes masks, and baseball bats! We found that when we do this, we can meet in large groups without much interference from the local authorities. It's been a delightful experience."

Leaders from Spirit-River In The City Church in LA County are reporting a successful Sunday service after using this method. Churchgoers were given bricks and fake Molotov cocktails before they surrounded the church with menacing looks on their faces. Several deacons then smashed some church windows to make the riot look more realistic. Unfortunately, onlookers grew suspicious when the massive group of rioters broke out into a round of the smash-hit worship song "Reckless Life Engulfment." Some of the attendees were forced to stage brawls in order to keep up appearances.

According to sources, some churchgoers in the area are planning to continue wearing masks to church even after the lockdown has ended in order to hide their identities from Hollywood directors and producers.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; california; losangeles
:)
1 posted on 06/01/2020 12:36:47 PM PDT by xp38
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To: xp38

That’s hysterical! It’s the element of truth that does it..


2 posted on 06/01/2020 12:41:59 PM PDT by neverevergiveup
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To: xp38

These days, when I think it’s the Babylon Bee it’s real, and when I think it’s real it’s the Babylon Bee.


3 posted on 06/01/2020 12:43:16 PM PDT by SaxxonWoods (Just sit in your house until the food stops coming and then starve. You'll be safe.)
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To: xp38

Heh, heh. Yeah, but setting the church on fire is taking it a little too far.


4 posted on 06/01/2020 12:45:58 PM PDT by Texas Eagle (If it wasn't for double-standards, Liberals would have no standards at all -- Texas Eagle)
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To: xp38

Almost like the story about how the ACLU defended the Neo-Nazis in where they burned down the ACLU headquarters.


5 posted on 06/01/2020 12:53:07 PM PDT by SkyDancer (~ Just Consider Me A Random Fact Generator ~ Eat Sleep Fly Repeat ~)
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To: xp38

The Bee has some excellent writers right now.


6 posted on 06/01/2020 12:53:28 PM PDT by BBQToadRibs
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To: Texas Eagle

They didn’t set the church on fire.....just broke a window and pretended to brawl. On the other hand this BB article is all about fire....er I mean love.

https://babylonbee.com/news/powerful-protesters-spell-out-love-with-burning-homes-and-businesses


7 posted on 06/01/2020 12:54:39 PM PDT by xp38
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To: Interesting Times

An interesting idea ;)


8 posted on 06/01/2020 12:54:49 PM PDT by GreyFriar (Spearhead - 3rd Armored Division 75-78 & 83-87)
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To: xp38

The Bee stings again!


9 posted on 06/01/2020 1:05:24 PM PDT by BenLurkin (The above is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire. Or both.)
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To: xp38

That was the best ever! Very believable.

I now have to go back up and confirm it’s the Bee once or twice!


10 posted on 06/01/2020 1:23:24 PM PDT by Empire_of_Liberty
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To: SaxxonWoods

Me too. That headline is not far-fetched in the least.


11 posted on 06/01/2020 1:29:51 PM PDT by Rennes Templar (Heaven has a wall and gates. Hell has open borders.)
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To: xp38

Love it!


12 posted on 06/01/2020 1:37:57 PM PDT by livius
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To: xp38

The Bee scores again.


13 posted on 06/01/2020 1:51:41 PM PDT by metmom ( ...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith.....)
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To: xp38

Thank you for not adding /satire in the title.

Makes it more fun.


14 posted on 06/01/2020 4:02:45 PM PDT by lizma2
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To: xp38

ROFL!!!


15 posted on 06/02/2020 10:16:35 AM PDT by MeneMeneTekelUpharsin (Freedom is the freedom to discipline yourself so others don't have to do it for you.)
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To: xp38; hellinahandcart

Wet your pants funny.


16 posted on 06/02/2020 10:24:40 AM PDT by sauropod (Quarantine is when you restrict sick people, tyranny is when you restrict healthy people.)
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