Posted on 04/21/2020 4:05:11 AM PDT by sodpoodle
Something for seniors to do to keep those "aging" grey cells active!
1. Johnny's mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May. What was the third child's name?
2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh?
3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?
4. How much dirt is there in a hole... that measures two feet by three feet by four feet?
5. What word in the English Language... is always spelled incorrectly?
6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet his birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible?
7. In California, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?
8. What was the President's Name...in 1975?
9. If you were running a race, and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now?
10. Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the egg are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white"?
11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in a third field?
Here are the Answers: (No peeking!)
This 1. Johnny's mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May. What was the third child's name?
Answer: Johnny, of course.
2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall, and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh?
Answer: Meat.
3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?
Answer: Mt. Everest; it just wasn't discovered yet. [You're not very good at this are you?]
4. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three feet by four feet?
Answer: There is no dirt in a hole.
5. What word in the English Language is always spelled incorrectly?
Answer: Incorrectly
6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet his birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible?
Answer: Billy lives in the Southern Hemisphere.
7. In California, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?
Answer: You can't take pictures with a wooden leg. You need a camera to take pictures.
8. What was the President's Name in 1975?
Answer: Same as is it now – Donald Trump [Oh, come on ..]
9. If you were running a race, and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now?
Answer: You would be in 2nd. Well, you passed the person in second place, not first.
10. Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the egg are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white"?
Answer: Neither, the yolk of the egg is yellow [Duh]
11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field?
Answer: One. If he combines all of his haystacks, they all become one big one.
IMPOSSIBILITIES IN THE WORLD
1) You can't count your hair.
2) You can't wash your eyes with soap.
3) You can't breathe through your nose when your tongue is out.
Put your tongue back in your mouth, you silly person.
Ten (10) Things I know about you.
1) You are reading this.
2) You are human.
3) You can't say the letter ''P'' without separating your lips.
4) You just attempted to do it.
6) You are laughing at yourself.
7) You have a smile on your face and you skipped No. 5.
8) You just checked to see if there is a No. 5.
9) You laugh at this because you are a fun loving person & everyone does it too.
10) You are probably going to send this to see who else falls for it.
You have received this e-mail because I didn't want to be alone in the idiot category.
TO ALL MY INTELLIGENT FRIENDS
Keep that brain working; try to figure this one out....
See if you can figure out what these seven words all have in common?
1. Banana
2. Dresser
3. Grammar
4. Potato
5. Revive
6. Uneven
7. Assess
Give it another try....
Look at each word carefully. You'll kick yourself when you discover the
Answer. This is so cool.....
REMEMBER I ONLY SENT THIS TO MY SMART FRIENDS
NOW DON'T LET ME DOWN
No, it is not that they all have at least 2 double letters...
Answer is below!
Answer:
In all of the words listed, if you take the first letter, place it at the end of the word, and then spell the word backwards, it will be the same word.
Did you figure it out?
No? Then send this to more people and stump them as well.
Then, you'll feel better too..
Two identical letters
A plane crashes exactly on the border between two countries. Half the passengers are citizens of one country, half the citizens of the other. In which country should they bury the survivors?
That’s a good one! You don’t bury survivors.
Q:
A night shift guard, while on patrol at night, dreams that the king will die in a plane crash. He tells the king so in the morning, but the king tells him not to worry, and flies anyway. When he returns from his trip, he fires the night shift guard. Why does the king fire the night shift guard?
A:
He was sleeping on the job.
Hmmmm...12?
I liked “there’s no dirt in a hole” better.
” 1. Johnny’s mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May. What was the third child’s name?”
This needs to be updated to: Shanequa’s father had 11 children and she doesnt know their names but knows DeMarcus and Latoya ..
How do you pronounce the capitol of Kentucky
LoooieVille
or
Lewisville?
Try Frankfort...
Who holds the record for watching the most Youtube videos?
Testes, testes, one, two...
I heard a story of a plane full of Democrats and reporters that crashed. The farmer buried all of them. When asked about survivors he said a few of them claimed to be alive but figured they were just lying again.
Brothers and sisters I have none, but that man’s father is my fathers son. How are we related?
Railroad crossing lookout for the cars, can you spell that witout any r’s.
Three men go into a hotel and want to share a room. The clerk charges them $30 (it’s an OLD story).
The clerk later realizes he over-charged them, and hands five ones to the bellhop to deliver a refund.
The slippery bellhop pockets two dollars and refunds each man a dollar bill.
So three men each paid nine dollars for the room. The clerk has two dollars. That’s twenty-nine dollars.
Where’s the extra dollar?
That man is his son.
Railroad crossing lookout for the cars, can you spell that witout any r’s.
T-H-A-T is how you spell that without any r's.
And Louisville is pronounced “Loo-uh-ville.”
This has been around in one form or another for several generations. We used to call them “stupidity tests.”
“That’s a good one! You don’t bury survivors.”
Well, if one of the countries is N. Korea, or China, or Russia, it might depend.
I answered every single question wrong. That’s 100%, correct?
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