Posted on 03/20/2020 7:09:10 PM PDT by entropy12
1. Number every square on a roll. Hang a log book near the roll. Every person using paper from roll must record usage by numbers on roll. Identify the biggest users. Quarantine them for a day for each offense.
2. Visitors must bring their own. Remove yours before they go in. Organize a BYOTP party (bring your own toilet paper party)
3. Study your dogs' behaviour. They get by without toilet paper quite well.
4. Visit rest rooms in local shopping malls, fast food places. Check TP is available before you sit down. Steal as much as you can. Bad luck when it runs out, this is WAR!
5. Buy baby bum wipes. Clear the shelves!
6. Rest assured that if you are holed up, when your 4 weeks' worth of food runs out, your use of TP will decrease markedly. Most of your six months' worth of TP will go unused.
Don’t turn it on full blast.
Maybe they could be trained for humans.
Great deed by you! I had a colleague once (when I had a job) who would offer good money to people who stopped smoking at work.
Bonus: Free fertilizer for your lawn!
Looks like a handy tool if this virus hangs on for much longer.
All I have to do is quit eating raisin bran and I can skip every other day LOL
Regarding Point Number 3; I once knew a couple who had a schnauzer. They would let her go out to do her business, and when she came back in, one of them would wipe her butt with TP. That’s the truth with my right hand up.
Years ago, one of our workers did hid “job” and there was no toilet paper, so he grabbed a handful of fiberglass batting insulation and wiped with it.
It put him in the hospital. DON’T DO IT!
The Toilet Paper Apocalypse
What to do When You Run Out of Toilet Paper
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o0kydrA1-04
Ladies can convert their She-Shed (Che-Shed?) to a to a tobacco type drying barn to cure the leaves.
You sure I was not your neighbor? My wife always wiped the female dog’s butt with a dog towel after every time the dog came back in.
Back to the Middle Ages. Garde loo!
Watched the whole thing LOL thanks for posting!
You should really have a white cob to make sure the red ones worked. I was told as a kid. 2 reds, one white. Got make sure the system is working. :)
ALTERNATIVES to toilet tissue:
Paper napkins
Paper towel
baby wipes
facial tissue (Kleenex)
Southwestern Bell’s yellow pages; white pages
crepe paper
newspaper
disposable diapers
large oak leaves
and for really tough guys,
sandpaper.
wow that was the best line ever read on here...congrats
Use paper napkins from McDonalds.
yellow pages:
__________________
You a gardener?
each page can be folded and made into a small pot to start seeds. When the seedlings are ready to plant the entire ‘pot’ can be planted as is.
Same is done with newspaper:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ou-3ZBI_ac
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