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SATIRE: Pigeon Wearing MAGA Hat Attacked By Pigeon Antifa
The Babylon Bee ^
| February 20th, 2020
| The Babylon Bee
Posted on 02/21/2020 10:26:03 AM PST by Forgiven_Sinner
LAS VEGAS, NVLocal pigeon Claude Beaker was proudly wearing his new MAGA hat in downtown Vegas.
"The economy is good, and there's lots of leftover bread crumbs and stuff for us pigeons," Beaker told reporters. "Trump has some personal moral failings, but the economy is doing well, and that's what matters for the fowl members of society."
But sadly, just a few hours later, Beaker was brutally attacked in broad daylight by the dreaded domestic terrorist group Pigeon Antifa.
Clad in ski masks and bandanas, the pigeons swooped in and threw tiny bricks and adorable little Molotov cocktails at Beaker. They even made a cute little milkshake with cement and threw it all over Beaker. Some of the pigeons had to leave to go back to their pigeon mommies and daddies because it was past their bedtime, but the rest continued the assault for over an hour, jeering at Beaker.
Pigeon police shrugged and said they didn't want to interfere. "Honestly, we're just winging it here," Pigeon Chief of Police Peck Peckems said. "Now if you'll excuse me, someone just dropped a donut over on Fourth Street, and we need to investigate."
Beaker was finally saved by local mob lords Bobby, Squit, and Pesto, who weren't too fond of Antifa edging in on their territory.
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: antifa; chat; maga; magahats; notnews; pigeons; satire
See if you can read this without laughing.
To: Forgiven_Sinner
this news is for the birds...
2
posted on
02/21/2020 10:37:49 AM PST
by
SteveH
(Zintentionally blank)
To: Forgiven_Sinner; Daffynition
Beaker was finally saved by local mob lords Bobby, Squit, and Pesto, who weren't too fond of Antifa edging in on their territory.
3
posted on
02/21/2020 10:43:39 AM PST
by
Ezekiel
(The pun is mightier than the s-word. Goy to the World!)
To: Forgiven_Sinner
Gotta love the folks at the Bee. That was fun.
4
posted on
02/21/2020 10:45:54 AM PST
by
paulcissa
(Politicians want you unarmed so they can kill you.)
To: Forgiven_Sinner
Beaker was finally saved by local mob lords Bobby, Squit, and Pesto
Nice reference!
5
posted on
02/21/2020 10:49:10 AM PST
by
Jonah Hex
To: Forgiven_Sinner
I liked the bike lock that one of the antifa pigeons was wielding.
Too bad the real Antifa clown (some adjunct professor at one of the Bay Area junior colleges), just got a slap on the wrist.
6
posted on
02/21/2020 11:02:48 AM PST
by
El Cid
(Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, and thy house...)
To: Ezekiel
There they are, the 3 Amigos!
7
posted on
02/21/2020 11:09:08 AM PST
by
Daffynition
(*Mega Dittoes and Mega Prayers* & :))
To: Forgiven_Sinner
“local mob lords Bobby, Squit, and Pesto”
Goodfeathers :D
8
posted on
02/21/2020 11:46:48 AM PST
by
Boogieman
To: Whenifhow; null and void; aragorn; EnigmaticAnomaly; kalee; Kale; AZ .44 MAG; Baynative; bgill; ...
9
posted on
02/22/2020 8:24:42 AM PST
by
bitt
(new q posts)
To: Forgiven_Sinner
10
posted on
02/22/2020 8:29:43 AM PST
by
bitt
(new q posts)
To: Forgiven_Sinner
"The economy is good, and there's lots of leftover bread crumbs and stuff for us pigeons," Beaker told reporters... Funny from start to finish... thanks for posting.
11
posted on
02/22/2020 10:36:22 AM PST
by
GOPJ
( http://www.tinyurl.com/cvirusmap https://www.cdc.gov/flu/weekly/usmap.htm)
To: GOPJ
Here’s my favorite line, “Pigeon police shrugged and said they didn’t want to interfere. “Honestly, we’re just winging it here,” Pigeon Chief of Police Peck Peckems said. “Now if you’ll excuse me, someone just dropped a donut over on Fourth Street, and we need to investigate.””
12
posted on
02/22/2020 1:18:07 PM PST
by
Forgiven_Sinner
(Seek you first the kingdom of God, and all things will be given to you.)
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