No complaints about her seat at the table.
When my wife, Nicole, and I got married, she liked changing her name. Her maiden name is Macaluso, an Italian name that too many Americans can’t pronounce and/or spell correctly. Almost all Americans have heard of Collins.
I changed my name gladly. No pressure at all.
Well, if I ever get married, I believe I can enthusiastically accommodate her desire for us to have separate account. No telling how much money in a joint account would wind up in shoes when it really needs to be used to pay off a large bill.
All that I am
All that I have
All that I will be is yours
For as long as we both may live
I remember the words from 39 years ago
What happens when two people with two hyphenated last names get married? Do they both get FOUR NAMES? Then, do their kids get eight names when they get married to another four-name person?
Before long we’ll all look like Spaniards.
Small irony for me is that my husband and I already had the same last name when we met...and no, we are not related.
Subordinate? I think not. I am proud to take hubby’s last name. But hubby and I have joint accounts, and each a seperate account. Not a big deal.
...another element of marriage that makes women feel stifled is the joint bank account.
I would think as many men would feel pressure to get a joint bank account as women.
I’m a woman. When my daughter was engaged she asked me if I though she should take her husband’s name. I said yes, they were becoming one family and in our society, taking the man’s name is traditional. I told her if she kept her maiden name, either their kids would either be stuck with hyphenated names, or her husband and kids would have one last name and she would have another, which is confusing for kids and for other people.
Keep them separate if you want. Just don’t hyphen them, that is stupid.
For your interest.
with all the hype lately about changing genders people are going to start b*tching about changing last names...
fidiots...
Same last name... Is this an American thing? British? I have some Italian friends who don’t have the same name... Say it isn’t done over there.
If you want a happy marriage, you must combine finances and act as a joined pair toward goals. Engaging in protective behaviors like having separate accounts increases the odds of money fights and divorce. Want a blow up? Get into the first argument over how to split baby expenses.
When did they start doing that? /s
“Seven in 10 women think there is a societal pressure for women to become subordinate by taking their husband’s last name after getting married. “
So, if 7 can’t deal with the level of commitment needed for marriage, that leaves 3 in 10 women being of marriageable material.
“Most women feel pressure to change last name, get joint bank account...”
And?
I didn’t change my name when I married, but not as an ‘ideological’ choice; there very practical reasons for it at the time.
I don’t understand why that or a joint bank account makes a woman ‘subordinate’. It seems to me that it simply makes of two people a functioning union.
(My husband just said, ‘You don’t like one of us, anyway’.)
:-)
I was thrilled to ditch my last name. And I want the same last name as my kids.