Posted on 01/11/2020 5:55:02 AM PST by metmom
U.S.—Look out, Beyond Meat -- a new competitor has emerged in the market of turning vegetables into a food that tastes just like meat. But while companies like Beyond Meat use laboratories to turn vegetables into something tasty, this new process uses a much more natural method: feeding the vegetables to a cow.
The startup, which goes by the much simpler brand name of “Meat,” came upon this process after using hundreds of millions of venture capital dollars to research how to turn vegetable products into something delicious that could be used as a burger. “Vegetables are ugly and horrible, and no one likes them,” said Meat researcher Winston Sullivan. “We tried everything to make them edible, but nothing worked -- except maybe covering them in ranch dressing. But then we saw this creature, a cow, was eating the vegetables -- because it was so dumb and didn’t know any better or something -- and somehow afterward it became filled with tasty meat. It was amazing.”
Sullivan says they have no idea how the cow turns vegetables into something edible (they suspect witchcraft) but have now obtained many of these creatures so they can feed them inedible vegetables and harvest tasty, tasty meat. The results are already a hit, as restaurants like Five Guys have used the patties made from naturally processed vegetables to huge success.
Meat is now trying to see if the process can be repeated with other animals. They’re currently testing their process on a chicken, though they say that, so far, the results aren’t as good as from the cow unless the product is breaded and fried.
I love telling people that I hang out my laundry and then they give me all kinds of excuses why they can’t/don’t do it.
Then I drop the bomb of greenhouse emissions and fossil fuels and how much money I save each month on the utility bills and boy do they get uncomfortable.
Come to think of it, the conversations never actually last long after that.
I actually put mine up today.
It’s in the 50’s and very windy, so I figured I’d take advantage of it. Everything is drying great today.
I love the country fresh smell of the laundry, which is a whole lot better than the fake fragrance they put out.
We don’t use ours much this time of year. Especially right now, as it’s snowing.
I'd be happy to cover your cost for a couple poles and a string for 49% of your company. However, I have a better idea;
Think of a singular support pole with other poles extending outward at the top. More drying area; more desirable; more sales. Plus, it turns in 360 degrees. With the money saved from an electric dryer, you can hire someone to hang your wash while being eco-efficient. Patent pending.
No one will tell us WHAT plants they are using in this CHEMICAL experiment.
Kudzu? Poison Oak? Poison Ivy? Stinging nettles? Grass (various types)? Bamboo? Cattails? Russian thistle? Canadian Thistle? Sage? Rabbit Brush? There have to be more than half a million different kinds of plants in the world.
I absolutely will not even taste such crap...
Why are they not required to tell us EXACTLY what is in these fake things??? Everything else has to have the ingredients listed.
I remember back to the 90’s when Clinton demanded that every product had to list their ingredients/formula on the container.
There used to a wonderful product on the market called KIP Spray. It was for burns or harsh abrasions, or treating skin exposed to certain chemicals. It WORKED GREAT. Used it myself a number of times.
They absolutely refused to release their formula & ingredients & went out of business. I have not seen anything on the market since that comes even close to KIP.
I always claimed to be a “vegetarian once removed” .
LOL!
Today it was 60 and very windy, so I did it.
But I hear you otherwise. Clothes just don’t dry in the cold.
ROFL
Did you realize this is the Babylon Bee?
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