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California Considering Tax On Breathing
The Babylon Bee ^ | December 17th, 2018

Posted on 12/21/2019 6:36:25 PM PST by metmom

SACRAMENTO, CA—The California legislature unveiled plans last week for a new tax on the privilege of breathing.

The "Check Your Oxygen Privilege Act" will be voted on later this week. If passed into law, Californians will pay a progressive tax on inhaling oxygen and exhaling carbon dioxide, with wealthier residents paying as much as 40% of their income for every breath they take. The poorest tax bracket may receive a subsidy for their breaths under the new model.

"Once again, California is at the forefront of progress," Governor Gavin Newsom said in a press conference Monday. "We've talked about taxing text messages, vehicle mileage, sneezing, sleeping, and your very existence, and this was the logical next step." The government has reportedly developed special breathing meters to help implement the bill, should it pass. Californians will be forced to purchase the meters from the state and wear them at all times to ensure accurate measurement of the amount of air they're using.

At publishing time, California had unveiled a tax on taxes, charging residents a luxury tax for the privilege of being taxed.


TOPICS: Humor; Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; satire

1 posted on 12/21/2019 6:36:25 PM PST by metmom
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To: metmom

They’d get more from a tax on everyone voting!


2 posted on 12/21/2019 6:38:22 PM PST by mrsmith (Dumb sluts (M / F) : Lifeblood of the Media, Backbone of the Democrat/RINO Party!)
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To: metmom

Great satire. Adds a whole new meaning to the Police song lyrics, “Every breath you take, I’ll be watching you.”


3 posted on 12/21/2019 6:38:48 PM PST by Publius ("Who is John Galt?" by Billthedrill & Publius available at Amazon.)
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To: metmom

The sad thing is, they would actually do this if they could get away with it.


4 posted on 12/21/2019 6:39:29 PM PST by philippa
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To: metmom

Why not a tax on pooping in the streets?


5 posted on 12/21/2019 6:40:05 PM PST by Responsibility2nd (How Can You Have Any Pudding If You Don't Eat Your Meat?)
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To: philippa

I know.

That’s what makes it such great satire.


6 posted on 12/21/2019 6:44:20 PM PST by metmom ( ...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith...)
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To: Responsibility2nd

Oh, but that would unfairly hit the poor the hardest.

You wouldn’t want that, now would you?


7 posted on 12/21/2019 6:45:16 PM PST by metmom ( ...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith...)
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To: metmom

I had to look to make sure this was Babylon Bee...You just never know about California...LOL


8 posted on 12/21/2019 6:54:10 PM PST by JBW1949 (I'm really PC.....Patriotically Correct)
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To: metmom

Taxing them one mil per exhalation is more equitable.


9 posted on 12/21/2019 6:55:40 PM PST by Salvey
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To: JBW1949

True.....


10 posted on 12/21/2019 6:57:24 PM PST by metmom ( ...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith...)
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To: metmom

I’m reading this completely unsurprised by it and believing it to be entirely possible, then I check that is the Babylon Bee. What a sad state where parody and satire are in the realm of believable.


11 posted on 12/21/2019 7:03:02 PM PST by Ouderkirk (Life is about ass, you're either covering, hauling, laughing, kicking, kissing, or behaving like one)
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To: metmom

From some of the truck driver videos I’ve seen, they are in the process of implementing a program within the new EDA laws where they can tap into the trucks computer to check if you have broken the speed limit and then send you a fine. Some of the truckers are pretty upset about that. I’m sure it will evolve to regular cars and trucks next. That’ll be a gold mine!


12 posted on 12/21/2019 7:04:23 PM PST by Karl Spooner
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To: Ouderkirk

It is.


13 posted on 12/21/2019 7:07:18 PM PST by metmom ( ...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith...)
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To: metmom

They would tax the dead if was possible. Why not, they vote for DemRats from beyond.


14 posted on 12/21/2019 7:18:43 PM PST by tflabo (Prince of Peace, Lion of Righteousness)
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To: metmom

I saw an old Mexican movie about the various governments of Mexico. In one scene a politician is wishing he could tax the air everyone breathes. So the politicians put a tax on doors and windows.

Result: Everyone blocked up their doors and windows and used a secret door to go in and out.


15 posted on 12/21/2019 7:50:55 PM PST by Ruy Dias de Bivar
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To: metmom

Nevada needs to charge California for air crossing into California.


16 posted on 12/21/2019 8:13:46 PM PST by fproy2222
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To: metmom

Satire today, reality tomorrow.


17 posted on 12/21/2019 8:37:25 PM PST by Disambiguator ("Progressives" want government in action. Conservatives want government inaction.)
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To: Ruy Dias de Bivar

Something like that happened in ancient Israel. You were taxed on the amount of trees you had. Result: People cut down their trees.


18 posted on 12/22/2019 1:37:55 AM PST by gattaca ("Government's first duty is to protect the people, not run their lives." Ronald Reagan)
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To: metmom
Come on BB, don't give them any ideas.
(Do we get tax credit for the CO2 we inhale?)

19 posted on 12/22/2019 6:08:59 AM PST by BitWielder1 (I'd rather have Unequal Wealth than Equal Poverty.)
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