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Activists Protest Hogwarts For Having Separate Dormitories For Boys And Girls (Satire)
Babylon Bee ^ | 12/19/19 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 12/19/2019 7:52:13 PM PST by jeannineinsd

WIZARDING WORLD—Activists descended on embroiled wizarding school Hogwarts today after it was revealed that the institution still has separate dormitories for boys and girls.

An independent investigator discovered that bigoted school prefects would instruct boys and girls to sleep in separate areas, as though biological sex is a real thing. The school even has dances where each boy asks a girl if she'd like to attend with him. The boys and girls dress differently and do different parts of the dance together, as though they are biologically designed to fulfill different roles and enjoy different things.

"Get this: as soon as you're sorted into your houses, you're told to go to a dormitory based on something called 'biological sex,' which is a hateful myth created by anti-science bigots," said one protester holding a "Magic is Female" sign. "This is an archaic vestige of a less civilized age, when we hadn't yet discovered the scientific truth that there is no difference between men and women and also that everything is meaningless."

The protesters began casting Molotov Incendio spells and Throwus Brickus spells to destroy the castle.

Dumbledore quickly apologized to the mob, saying, "Guys, let's settle down." He was quickly canceled and Avada Kedavra'ed for using gendered language.


TOPICS: Books/Literature; Education; Humor; TV/Movies
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; harrypotter; hogwarts; homosexualagenda; horrypetter; jkrowling; satire; transgender
This satire is very close to the real news today about J.K. Rowling.

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/3802260/posts

1 posted on 12/19/2019 7:52:13 PM PST by jeannineinsd
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To: jeannineinsd

Even funnier because Albus Dumbledore was gay. Back in the 1920s he had a fling with Gellert Grindelwald.


2 posted on 12/19/2019 7:54:13 PM PST by Publius ("Who is John Galt?" by Billthedrill & Publius available at Amazon.)
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To: jeannineinsd

Yes separate dorms really makes the girls work a bit harder for the #metoo life destroying allegations.

For a fake fictitious school.


3 posted on 12/19/2019 7:55:41 PM PST by Secret Agent Man (Gone Galt; Not Averse to Going Bronson.)
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To: jeannineinsd

Where’s Valdemort when you need him?


4 posted on 12/19/2019 7:55:50 PM PST by DannyTN
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To: jeannineinsd

Funny!


5 posted on 12/19/2019 7:56:59 PM PST by EdnaMode
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To: jeannineinsd

Harry Potter and the Half-sexed Prince, uhh Princess, uhhhhh gender non-binary child of the sovereign.


6 posted on 12/19/2019 8:23:25 PM PST by KarlInOhio (Cutest internet video: Charlie bit my finger. Creepiest internet video: Joe Biden bit my finger.)
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To: jeannineinsd
One of the opening scenes in “Half-Blood Prince” has Maggie Smith directing hallway traffic during a first day of school class change.

She loudly informs a new first year student that he is walking into the “WOMEN'S lavatory.”

Maggie will be 85 years old next week, so maybe they will let her off with a light beating?

7 posted on 12/19/2019 11:36:17 PM PST by zeestephen
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