Posted on 11/16/2019 2:56:19 PM PST by VRW Conspirator
Contrary to popular belief, Russian people are not all cold-hearted alcoholics. We're actually pretty great once you get to know us.
Take advantage of Montreal's multiculturalism and get yourself a Russian girlfriend ASAP. This post is addressed to both girls and guys alike. The truth is, you absolutely need a Russian girlfriend in your life, you just don't know it yet. So here are 10 reasons why you need a Russian girlfriend in your life.
1. We NEVER Come Over Empty-Handed If you invite us over for dinner, or something, just know that we'll bring stuff. We'll even call you and ask what you'd like us to get. If you say that we shouldn't bring anything, we'll still bring something. Expect a cake or alcohol or even a gift. How awesome is that? Pretty freaking awesome.
2. We Take Care Of Ourselves Russian girls put extra effort into looking good. It is almost a way of life for us. Our mothers give us s*** if we don't wear high heels when we leave the house. I also think it's pretty safe to say that, in general, Russian girls are known to be beautiful. It's always fun to have a hot girlfriend whether you're a guy or a girl.
3. We Love To Have A Good Time Russian girls are your best party buddies. It doesn't mean that we're not serious though, don't get me wrong. It means that we can let loose and have a good time when we feel like it. Having fun and enjoying life is part of our culture.
4. We Will Always Feed You Food will always be served if you come over to our house. ALWAYS. Even if we just invite you for drinks. Even if you're not hungry and only passing by for five minutes... The moment you step foot inside our house, we immediately force feed you.
5. Russian Parents Are The Best If you're lucky enough to meet our parents, you'll trip at how cool they are. You'll get to drink a lot of alcohol and it will be socially acceptable, even encouraged! The parents will also force feed you. You've been warned.
6. We're The Friendliest People Once You Pass The Trust Test You might think that Russian girls are cold or mean, but it's not really the case. Smiling at strangers is not part of our culture, so don't take it personal if a Russian girl gives you the cold shoulder at first. Once she gets to know you, you'll see how friendly and cool Russian girls can be. Patience, my friend.
7. Matryoshkas You will be fascinated by Russian dolls (Matryoshkas). They're just so beautiful and every Russian girl has a set of these. You can play with them all you want and take photos for your Instagram whenever you please.
8. We Always Have Alcohol At Our House You know that moment when the SAQ is closed and you run out of alcohol... have no worry! Russian girls always have booze at home. Problem solved and you're welcome.
9. We're Straightforward You'll never have to wonder what a Russian girl thinks about you, she'll tell you straight up. If she likes you, you'll know it and it's awesome. You won't have to read between the lines with these girls.
10. Russian Accent You'll fall in love with the Russian accent. Whether you'll love to make fun of it or you'll get turned on by it - it doesn't matter - you'll love it regardless.
Russian claims in WWII were not even close to reality.
“I’m a Polak. Anything in it for me?”
Our Polish priest speaks English as a third language (he is now a U.S. citizen). He learned Russian in Siberia; how he wound up there & got out again I don’t know.
He loves Donald Trump since the Warsaw visit & says this Pope is coo coo for Cocoa Puffs. Proud of Poland’s muzzie deflector fence, too.
But one day Father M. told us from the pulpit that he prefers Germans over Russians any day. I said to him, “1939?”.
He replied, “1920. Go look it up.”
I did. I hadn’t known that reborn Poland saved the rest of Europe from Bolshevik Russian invasion.
The Polish infantry and horse cavalry opened up a can of whoop-ass on the Red Army as it attempted to march through Poland to get to Weimar Germany. The Red Shirts were almost running the Weimar government, and Trotsky saw it as a chance to absorb Germany into the greater Russian sphere of influence.
After that debacle, Lenin put Trotsky on a short leash.
So did mine. She came to the U.S. on a visit with another woman, looking for an American husband. Success!
She was remarkably gracious about my mangled college Russian. She didn't laugh once.
She turned out to be a great wife. Both of them are still smiling, decades later.
Have had 2 Ruskie gfs. Both were gold diggers with hearts of ice.
“There were no good communists, no good socialists.”
Sure there are. DEAD ones.
Russian men are drunks and die in their 50s. They lost a bunch of men in war.
The average salary is also $200 a month over there.
An old Soviet-era joke has a wife berating her husband for drinking vodka all the time, and therefore useless in bed.
The wife then opens a window and yells down to the street about wanting a real man to satisfy her.
A passerby yells up that he’s a real man, and would be happy to oblige.
She yells down “Come on up!”
He yells up “You got vodka?”
Sounds like Mexico with nukes.
Lol.
007 ALWAYS had to make the quip. That's a trademark of his. I have always enjoyed the Bond series. I like Craig Daniels...he has an intimidating look.
And that’s the reason they keep plenty of alcohol around. Keeps one from seeing clearly.
“Speaking of which, where the heck is Laz?”
At the monastery..
If I was fighting in a war and I saw this on the battlefield I would surrender.
So all Russian girls are switch hitters.
No kidding. Before that trailer trash movement came on the scene the ideal woman was Mrs. Cleaver, Donna Reed and Doris Day (who turned down the role of Mrs. Robinson in "The Graduate" because it was trash). The ideal woman was respected and admired.
Today, the ideal woman is a bisexual whore with tons of tattoos and does drugs. But she does her own thing which is why she's an "ideal."
Yeah, you've come a long way, baby.
Russian women are very expensive.
I’m also part Polish and I did know anything about the 1920 “Miracle on the Vistula” until I read a thread about it here on FR a few years ago. In the course of reading about it online I came across the movie “The Battle of Warsaw 1920” and found this version on Youtube. At the time there were no captions and I do not speak Polish but the events in the film were still understandable regardless of the language. I went back looking for it so as to post a link here, and found that there are now English captions.
I highly recommend it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aN73N9EjoM4
“getting my tongue in her ear until the Soviet lady broke us up.”
Reminds me of my dance days at Catholic school. If you danced too close the nun would separate you and say “Leave some room for the Holy Ghost”. LOL
Pickled moose cheeks and fried lamprey all around.
At social gatherings, when people ask how we met, I always joke, "On page 122 of the 'East European Beauties' catalog."
Interesting coincidence: Her mother was born in Berlin, just 10 days after the capitulation of Nazi Germany, the daughter of two Red Army surgeons - while my mother, a 2nd Lt. in the U.S. Army Medical Corps, was stationed there only weeks later. (Dear ol' Dad was "flying over the Hump" in India/China.)
Regards,
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