Posted on 10/25/2019 6:51:10 PM PDT by RetiredTexasVet
The University of Illinois released its admissions investigation report today. The report revealed that no Hollywood A, B, C, or even D lister or elite 1 percenter attempted to cheat or bribe admission into the university.
Upon notification of the report, the U of I Board of Trustees were outraged and called in President Tim Killeen for an explanation of why U of I had been shunned by the elite cheaters and bribers. Was not U of I worthy or prestigious enough for even a single attempt?
President Tim explained that U of I had a program in effect the negated the need for cheating and bribery by the elite. The "Special Needs" 6 year bachelor degree program was developed especially for the elite, sometimes referred to as the "More Money Than Brains" program. Academic standards are at the grade school level and the only real requirement is full payment of the tuition and fees at the beginning of the semester.
Graduates receive a BS Degree in Woke. Study areas include Social Justice, Climate Change activism, Rules for Radicals, Community Organizing, Antifa and You, and other related topics.
The Board of Trustees were pleased but suggested that Tim give the program a little more publicity.
Got to keep paying the professors so that they can vote for the Democrats.
Official program spokesman - Tom Cruise: https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=3&v=i37uttMA6Mc
Son got his Masters in Urban Planning from UI back in 2012, one of the few unwoke departments at the time.
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