The other surprise was how little alcohol American children drank.
It depends on whether we are talking about children of democrats or republicans.
“I wasn’t to do anything I don’t want because that’s abuse”
Tell the teacher you don’t want to go to school.
That WAS very interesting. Thanks for posting. Now I have more to base my opinion of Russia on than the russian guy in the apartment above mine that seemed to be banging a different chick every night, or those Russian car crash videos.
This one seems more useful than the other two sources. :)
I’m not old enough to really know, but I suspect most Americans used to raise their children pretty well. But then Dr Spock came along with a lot of “helpful advice” which started us down a bad path. Today we’ve gone far beyond Dr Spock and we live in an era where childrearing often means “anything goes”. Very few people actually “parent” today — most likely, they expect the government schools to raise their children for them.
It does one good to have an unbiased outsider’s view of how one is acting. The next step is to listen to what it’s saying, and to do something about it.
Not bloody likely to happen in the USA.
I’ve been in enough supermarkets to see how many brats rule their parents who can’t say no.
Tagline adapted from a locally popular bumper sticker.
Having just had some relatives over, I agree. The kids (all under 10) were horrible. Their parents were ineffective and I’d say they nag their kids a lot. The kids pay almost no attention.
Also something I saw at work were parents who thought they would let their kids decide what religion they would be. These parents thought of themselves as Christians.
I think a lot of parents (read mothers) are just lazy.
I did la leche league and much of the attachment parenting. I think in our case it built trust and cooperation. Other parents were amazed sometimes. One day a lunch aide came to me snd said that she and the other noon aides had been watching my son. Why? He actually sat and ate his lunch before going out to play. He didn’t take a couple bites, throw stuff and bolt. Also we never had the Disney Channel or shows with snarky kids. No bad examples to imitate.
Guess my wife and I are guilty of child abuse. Mild corporal punishment and the expectation that chores would be done. I wonder why we have an accomplished 31-year old daughter after such a horrible upbringing.
Even though we were anticipating a visit from Dorian yesterday afternoon, my daughter sent me a picture of my 6 year old grandson Jack "driving" a rather large toy car. They purchased it online for $160.00. To my knowledge, he does not get a weekly allowance, but he does save every penny he receives as birthday or Christmas gifts. He paid for the car all by himself!
When I told my husband, he said that Jack takes after G-Dad (my husband) rather than his own father. My daughter is always asking me for money because he rarely gives her any. She is a stay at home Mom of two boys and would rather raise her own children than pay an outrageous sum for daycare. She has an AA degree in Early Childhood Education so she is qualified to do so!
“American children weren’t commanded to salute Stalin ever”
but something else was more important. Had another good member of the American society been in the Yelena’s place, that person would have telephoned the social service at the first step away from the front door, and the outcome of all this would have been a matter of doubt. Yelena didn’t call anyone, of course, instead she gave me a lecture (lecturing people is very American) that my parenting style was child abuse and something to not afford here.
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This makes me bitter.
During a very tough time in our family’s life, my 16 year old daughter had to shoulder some of the everyday tasks, make supper, and drive (I gave her a vehicle of her own with a gas card) her 2 teen sibs to their appointments and generally keep an eye on them while i worked the 50 to 60 hours per week to catch up financially (no I had not other options at that time).
I had promised my daughter that if she got us through the next year and a half, until her brother started driving, I would pay for her 4 year tuition at the local college.
My daughter’s friend’s mother, and my daughter’s father both worked on her that she was doing too much and that she was being “used.” and that this was child abuse. My daughter walked out about 6 months later to live with her friend’s mother. And her father, thus ending his child support to me (at the peak it was 720 per month for 4 children).
Our relationshp has never been the same, she carries resentment that I used her, when I tried to explain that this is what happens sometimes in families and that it could have been so much better for her if she had let me follow through once I had caught up.
I had been brought up that families work together to shore things up if they go south.
We have no relationship now. Sad.
Russian parenting? That is the traditional parenting by which I and my siblings were raised.
I came to the USA at 16 yrs old from the UK.
Boy did I find high school here to be a trip, a complete disconnect from anything I was used to. The expectations of the kids was notable, along with a complete lack of knowing about anything outside of the USA.
I’d never heard so many people talking about “losers”. The expectation of the kids, the pressure among themselves, to have solid plans after high school. I remember one kid getting a Corvette as a graduation present, I couldn’t wrap my head around that - as though graduating was some amazing accomplishment, as well as it being a Corvette of all cars.
Going from a place where I could buy myself a beer at a pub to it being an evil crime until you’re 21. Going from being treated much as an adult to being treated like a child. Same in the school, seniors with no privileges or responsibilities than a freshman? Odd.
It’s very different here. I don’t want to sound like it was bad, the differences manifest into both positive and negative. I wouldn’t trade my American citizenship for anything, I feel it is more precious to me than to many native born, they take it for granted.
As I grew older I appreciated what this country was actually about. It provided me endless opportunity. Then you realize what the Constitution really is about and that it isn’t common. That individual rights trump the desires of the collective - that what was is in the best interests of the collective ARE individual, inalienable, rights.
This is where the USA is different than any other country on the planet. Everywhere else has a collectivist mindset, that the government should decide how far our rights should reach because they have the best interests of the collective in mind. Now I look back at the UK in horror. They only have a tradition of free speech but not as an uncompromising right in a Constitution understood by everyone. Having the right to own a firearm. Talk about guns to people in the UK, they immediately think you’re nuts. Why on earth do you want to have a gun? Conceptually, they don’t understand the reasons....all while their culture is being invaded and replaced, with the ruling class complicit.
Being a citizen of the USA in 2019 is one of the most precious things that has ever existed - anywhere at any time. Yet, we have a section of the population that claim they’re “oppressed” and are fighting “fascism” - they have no idea of what the hell they’re talking about. Just a bunch of virtue signalling narcissists that are completely naive to the rest of the world.
Excellent article, thank you!
When my 6 year old informed me that her school said it’s child abuse to discipline, I “wiggled out of it” by telling her, “feel free to report me to your teachers. But who will wash, cook and clean for you when I’m in jail?” That was the end of the state sponsored revolt of children against their parents.
I don’t understand why people are poo-pooing this Russo-American mom. I was raised much like she’s raising her kids, and I don’t believe that she is using the average child’s behavior as a starting point for comparison to her own kids. My friend is a 5th grade teacher, not one of the psychotic liberal ones, and she laments at the behavior of the kids which come through her class. They’re entitled, uncaring about anything outside of what affects them personally, and rude. Not all of them, of course, but many. I believe that this mom is referring to those kids, and not those who are well-behaved and engaging in healthy child’s play with other kids.
I was a stubborn kid, and am still a horrendously stubborn adult, though that is currently to my benefit. Needless to say, I got spanked and sent to the corner frequently until I was about eight. From that point on, it was groundings, and the length of time they lasted depended greatly on what I did wrong. No PC (monitored for school work), no phone calls, no video games, no TV. If I’d had friends, I wouldn’t have been seeing them either. I didn’t really have any until high school, but by then my behavior largely turned around.
When it came to pocket money, I got paid for extra chores I did around the house until I started working at fifteen, and birthday money usually went straight into my savings account. I also got a hand-me-down vehicle from my dad, but when my brother started driving, the vehicle got handed down to him. I got a new vehicle valued at no more than $3000 that my father initially paid for, but we scheduled a payment plan for me to pay him back, and I did just that. I was never the type to splurge, and I save whatever I can. Sadly, that’s not much right now. I credit my desire to save to the fact that I received an allowance for the extra work around the house and that I had to save for something I wanted or wait until my birthday or Christmas. Either way, I had to wait, because the things I wanted were generally costly.
If we were at a special event like Christmas Eve at a family member’s house, dressed up for the occasion, we were told not to rough house and make a mess of ourselves. If we ruined nice clothing, we were SOL because my parents couldn’t replace it easily. Most of my clothes were hand-me-downs from my older cousins, but my brother didn’t have male relatives who might provide hand-me-downs, so he had to keep his dress clothes from being irreparably damaged. When it came to the day-to-day clothes, we were encouraged to be careful with them, but we weren’t punished for dirty knees and bottoms. Unless the clothes were brand new. Then we got a talking-to, because we really had to stretch the clothes’ lifespans.
It sounds to me like her kids are likely to become responsible teens, and thus responsible adults.
I live in a subdivision that is home to many first and second generation emigre’ s from Belarus. My anecdotal observation is that they are fully committed to family and acquiring wealth. They live the American economic dream but will not allow natives to invade their space. They all speak impeccable english but do so only for business transactions. As to their children, which are many, they homeschool and are rarely seen in the neighborhood, but I suspect their behavior is exemplary.
I'm mid-60's and remember having to sit in the corner as punishment. It obviously worked! We were also expected to do our chores and there was a cost for infractions. To this day, I make my bed every day, clean weekly, abhor clutter and messiness and turned out to be a pretty good cook.
When I taught in a Christian school, the other teachers would ask me all the time how I was able to get my students so well-behaved. It was simple...I gave them the rules as well as the consequences for breaking the rules from day one. The new kids, of course, challenged me but after a few weeks they understood that I would not let anyone get away with it. Perhaps that is what's missing with today's children. Parents who don't consistently enforce their own rules quickly teach them that they can get away with anything if they persist and outlast them. Parents who don't take the time to teach obedience to their authority end up raising children who won't respect ANY authority as adults. ANTIFA is most likely made up of such people!