Posted on 08/20/2019 9:10:41 AM PDT by sodpoodle
So there was this female business executive who was late for a meeting.
She is going 65 on a street where the speed limit is 40.
A cop pulls her over and says “ma’am, can I please see your license?”
She says “I’m sorry, officer, but I got it revoked two years ago for drunk driving.”
His brow furrows and he straightens up. “Well, can I please see the registration of your car?”
She says “I stole the car and I killed the driver; he’s in the trunk.”
“Ma’am, DON’T MOVE, I’m calling for backup.”
He mutters furiously into his walkie-talkie…
Five minutes later, half the squad pulls up, the Chief of Police walks over to the woman’s window.
“Ma’am, can I see your license?” he asks sternly.
“Of course, officer,” she smiles demurely and pulls out a license from her purse.
He squints warily at it. “This looks legitimate,” he mumbles.
“Can I see the registration to this car?”
She pulls it out of the glove compartment and hands it to him.
“Ma’am, stand back!”
He bangs open the trunk of the car and flinches: but it was completely empty…
The woman brandishes a finger at the first cop and says accusingly, “And I’ll bet that liar told you I was speeding too!!”
Problem: body camera
The other little problem is that she would have been dragged out of the car and thrown on the street where she would have been cuffed . . . if not additionally tazed. Old jokes just don’t have any life no more.
I was expecting, “Oh no, not another breathalyzer!”.
Most people don’t have much tolerance for having a loaded gun pointed at their head, which is what would have happened here.
I used to live in Kenya, back in the day, and it was more or less routine for a group of soldiers to toss a log across a country road to set up and informal toll-booth.
It was all casual enough, but the guy who came to your window for the money would point his rifle at your head, just to make the point. Five dollars American or $10 worth of local currency would get you a friendly wave, the log moved, and you would be on your way. Five miles down the road, you would get to do it all again.
It got to where it was routine. You would start to recognize the “soldiers”, and they would smile and wave. But always there was that gun in your ear, and you always, always had to pay. You never got into the car without at least $20 American, in fives.
One day, an old college girlfriend was visiting from America, and we rolled up to a roadblock. I didn’t think anything of it, and handed over the money, and we were on our way. A couple of miles down the road, I noticed that she wasn’t talking, and I looked over and she was white as a sheet and she said, “What... just... happened?” I had to think about it for a minute before I figured out what she was upset about.
You can get used to almost anything...
LOL! Thanks. (Haven’t heard that one.)
It’s only at least 30 years old. And hasn’t been funny for most of a decade since body cameras began appearing.
Now the woman would be arrested for lying to an officer, obstruction of justice, her home and business would be searched and she would be locked in a hospital ward pending blood tests for alcohol and drugs, her car would be impounded pending further forensic investigation involving dismantling the car (and she would be responsible for reassembling it, not the cops) and much much more.
The sad part is that people still try this today - also, why do you think it funny to try to duck out of one’s responsibilities? The woman was speeding, but she lies and slanders an officer to try to get out of what she’s done. How is this acceptable behavior???
It would have been more amusing if you’d stuck an Uzi in the thief’s face and blown it off. Then the rest of uour gang, hidden in the trunk and back seat, could have jumped out and wasted the rest of the crooks.
It’s usually a bad idea to give in to extortionists.
Hey, you have to have a sense of humor to be a FReeper.
Lots of FReepers losing their sense of humor these days. Thanks for the laughs, Sod.
Thanks. I've led a sheltered life and not been with too many funny people.
Does that still happen there, or is it even worse?
Ditto. Had a good chuckle— even if it is an old one.
“It’s usually a bad idea to give in to extortionists.”
Usually a really bad idea for to start firefights as an American living in Africa too. You tend to stand out at the airport.
Traffic stop Texas style;
An 80 year old woman late for her church meeting
was driving over 100 mph in her caddy to get there.
A cop pulls her over and after her producing her
drivers’ license and proof of insurance, the cop
asked if she had any weapons in the car. She told
him about the .380 in her purse, the .357 in the
console, the “Judge” in the glove box, and the
.22 mag under the seat. He was amazed, and asked
her what she was so afraid of. “Not a damned thing”
was her reply.
I am sure it still goes on. It's not so bad. Just inconvenient.
Thanks for your encouraging comments. Wish FR would bring back the ‘# of views’. Helps to decide which threads are more popular.
I post humor threads to lighten the load - during these dismal days. Yes, there are a lot of angry FReepers.
God bless,
sod
Wish FR would bring back the ‘# of views’.
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How far back was that? I don’t remember that feature....
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