Posted on 08/03/2019 4:01:12 PM PDT by Baynative
WORLD—Climate experts have solemnly warned that we only have twelve years left until they change the dates on global warming again.
"If we don't take action, then in 12 years we will have to explain why the world hasn't ended and come up with a new number," one UN scientist warned. "This is a very serious threat, and we urge everyone to hand control of the economy to the government immediately before we have no more time left to change the timeline again."
The scientific consensus is that roughly 10-12 years from now, the world will be flooded with new doomsday predictions. This can all be avoided if we overhaul the economy and become socialists, according to non-political, unbiased sciencey type guys.
"Should we not change our ways, our old predictions will melt, dangerously raising the chance of us having to move the goalposts again," said Al Gore. "Do you really want me to write another book, film another movie, and go on another tour in my private jet just because you dingbats couldn't be bothered to alter your lifestyles? I don't think so. Let's all get on board with this 12-year figure, or we'll have to push back the date again."
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
I keep telling my wife “look hon, we’ve only got 12 years left. Let’s remortgage the house and blow the money on ourselves!’’. She won’t go for it. Wimmens!
Better take the Moon with us. That thing is slipping away from us at about and inch or two every year.
Oh, absolutely. In the outer solar system, we may need it to become our artificial sun.
l8r
Heh heh... Thanks Baynative.
What parody?
This is exactly what they’ve been doing.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.