Found this reference - sorry for oversight:
02/23/2019 from DailyJokes
lol - cute.
As told to me by a nice Jewish neighbour years ago:
A Jewish grandmother was walking along the beach with her little grandson. A huge wave came in and took the little boy out to sea. She could not see him, let alone help him. She prayed and prayed for God to please save her grandson. Lo and behold, the next big wave brought the little boy back, unharmed.
Oh, thank you God, she said. But, ummm, he WAS wearing a hat.
The punch line I heard was “Fly is still alive. But can no longer reproduce.”
That’s hilarious
LOL - good one!!!
Years ago it was said Israel wouldn’t go to war - but if they did - it would last a long time - and they would lose. That was said a week before the 6 Day War started.
Can any of you Freepers name the TV show I stole this joke from?
A Rabbi, a Priest and an Imam walk into a bar, and the bartender says “get the hell out of here!”.
Joe Smith, a very prosperous and generous businessman in town dies. There’s a huge funeral, attended by the local priest, minister and rabbi.
At one point during the graveside service, the 3 of them approach the casket together. The priest says, “you know, it might not matter much to Joe now, but I did owe him $100”...whereupon he takes out his wallet and places 5 $20 bills into the casket.
The minister says, “I must admit that I also owed Joe $100”...whereupon he takes out his wallet and places 5 $20 bills into the casket.
The rabbi says, “OK, boys, while we’re on the topic, I also owed Joe $100”...whereupon he writes a check for $300 and takes the $200 of cash out of the casket.
Morty was walking along the beach one day, when he discovered an old lamp in the sand. “Oy! Let me shine it up.”
Lo and behold, a genie popped out. “Thank you for releasing me after centuries of imprisonment! I will repay your kindness with one wish, any wish!”
Morty thought for a moment, then took a crumpled piece of paper out of his wallet. He unfolded what appeared to be an old map. “Look here, Genie, this is a map of the Holy Land. Do you see little Israel here, surrounded by all her enemies in the world? That is my wish, for you to bring peace at least to Eretz Yisrael.”
The genie frowned and took a look. “You know, sir, that is a very, very difficult wish.” He sighed. “I’m not sure I could make that one happen. Is there anything else your heart might desire?”
“Well, you know, Genie, I’ve been married to my wife for 20 years, and I’d always wished she would give me a bj. Yes, that will be my wish, ok Genie?”
Without hesitation, the Genie asked, “Let me see that map again.”
Another good one, better understood if you know the Jewish Foundation and how seriously they fundraise (though their charity and generosity is world class).
An older Jewish couple went on a cruise. Suddenly a monster storm overtook the ship and destroyed it. Passengers were thrown into lifeboats or clung to boards. Our couple drifted for a day or two, then landed on an uninhabited island. They found fresh water and mangoes and were grateful to be alive, but the woman was desolate at never seeing the family again. “How will we ever get off this island!?” she wailed.
The husband just smiled at her. “Before we left, I pledged $100,000 to the Jewish Federation. They’ll find us.”
That was a good one! I forwarded it to a friend in Baltimore.