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PANIC REIGNS AS MAJOR SNOWSTORM THREATENS TO BURY NYC !!! [vanity/satire]
The New York Whines | January 18 2019

Posted on 01/18/2019 8:06:59 AM PST by Mr_Moonlight

January 18 2019 - The New York Whines -

A huge snowstorm is threatening to overtake New York City this morning, as over 1/32nd of an inch of the dreaded semi-frozen crystals have accumulated thus far in Central Park and on the streets between Lexington and Fifth Avenues.

Buses and Subways are running at half speed as ordered by Mayor Bill de Blasshole after he was awoken from his mid-morning snooze and informed of the developing calamity facing the city.

Said the Mayor before resuming his nap, "I have fully capable people in positions to deal with these types of trivial matters, so don't bother me no more about it", then stormed off in a huff.

A top aide to the Mayor concurred, "Hizzoner has a very important communist revolution to lead, do you think he needs to hear this shit from you irritating reporters?".

When asked by our Whines reporter, the aide declined to provide his name, but added, "If you alt-right so called 'journalists' at the Whines had only let us tax you at 100% six years ago then we wouldn't even be having this conversation".

City authorities have advised residents to secure their supplies of bread and milk, as this may be a long haul until at least midday this afternoon, but warned not to venture outside, as the sidewalks may be slippery when wet. Additionally, authorities have assured that used syringe deposit boxes will remain open and in full operation at all city parks within the five boroughs.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: satire
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To: Mears

my sister went to Nazareth.


41 posted on 01/18/2019 10:38:27 AM PST by cherry
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To: cherry

I’ll be darned-—when my cousin went to Nazareth I visited a couple of times and loved it.

.


42 posted on 01/18/2019 11:29:40 AM PST by Mears
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To: oh8eleven
I'm in Rochester NY and we're supposed to get anywhere from 6" to 24" of snow from the same storm.

Same here in the Syracuse area. Only we're expecting 18"-24".

43 posted on 01/18/2019 11:52:06 AM PST by metmom ( ...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith......)
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To: jaydubya2

They did and I’m not happy to be forced to use the globull warming champions.


44 posted on 01/18/2019 11:54:07 AM PST by metmom ( ...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith......)
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To: CtBigPat

Where my son is in NH they’re expecting a couple feet easily.


45 posted on 01/18/2019 11:56:16 AM PST by metmom ( ...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith......)
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To: metmom

Buffalo gets all the headlines, but Syracuse gets all the snow.


46 posted on 01/18/2019 11:56:59 AM PST by oh8eleven (RVN '67-'68)
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To: sparklite2
Nobody micromanages the citizenry quite like California.

NYS is giving it the old college try.

47 posted on 01/18/2019 11:57:48 AM PST by metmom ( ...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith......)
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To: VTenigma

Monday is MLK Day anyways.

No school here to cancel cause they are already off.


48 posted on 01/18/2019 11:59:23 AM PST by metmom ( ...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith......)
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To: metmom

I have a son in NH also——same thing,lots of snow.

.


49 posted on 01/18/2019 12:00:51 PM PST by Mears
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To: Mears

My mother went to Nazareth Academy High School in Rochester, back in the late 30’s. I am surprised that it’s still running. There’s even a Nazareth Elementary School.


50 posted on 01/18/2019 12:05:32 PM PST by mass55th (Courage is being scared to death - but saddling up anyway...John Wayne)
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To: oh8eleven
Back when we lived there, everyone knew everybody on the block. We kids all played together, and were taught to respect our elders. And back then, we never locked our doors at night. We had Henchen's Bowling Alley less than five minutes away. There was also Oddo's Dairy/Fountain Shoppe, where you could go in, sit at the counter, and order a banana split, milk shake, ice cream soda, hot fudge sundae...whatever you wanted. Even the neighborhood pharmacy had it's own soda fountain section. Then there was Grassi's Dry Good store, with all sorts of great things for kids. We used to go to the old Lincoln Theater on Jay Street. My mother would give us a quarter. It would cost us 15 cents to get in, and 10 cents for a box of popcorn.

There was also a neighborhood grocery/meat store run by an old Italian couple. They had every kind of penny candy you could want, plus comic books galore. We weren't too far from the Hostess Cupcake Factory which was just off Murray Street...near Lyell Avenue. They had an outlet shoppe there, and we used to go get packages of cupcakes for a nickel, and of course they were much bigger then. The smell of baking bread would permeate the neighborhood. Schuler's Potato Chips wasn't that far either, and we used to be able to smell them cooking the potatoes in the oil. Back then a bag of chips cost 5 cents. Still remember Neisner's, Woolworth's, Sibley's and McCurdy's back in the good, old days. We never had a car so either walked or took the bus to get where we wanted to go. Great memories. Glad I was born at that time.

51 posted on 01/18/2019 12:22:57 PM PST by mass55th (Courage is being scared to death - but saddling up anyway...John Wayne)
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To: VTenigma

Stay safe, and warm. I’m heading out in a little while to pick up some groceries. I usually don’t go anywhere on the weekends anyway, so if it snows...who cares.


52 posted on 01/18/2019 12:24:25 PM PST by mass55th (Courage is being scared to death - but saddling up anyway...John Wayne)
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To: TexasGunLover

That is just one of the many terrible things about the South.
It’s too hot.
They don’t know how to drive on snow.
They don’t know how to drive.
You can’t find a good bagel.
You can’t find a good pizza.
The house prices have gotten so high because of all the Yankees moving down here.


53 posted on 01/18/2019 12:29:24 PM PST by freedomlover
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To: freedomlover

Keep telling those Yankees how horrible the south is. Please!


54 posted on 01/18/2019 12:30:40 PM PST by ladyjane
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To: mass55th
We weren't too far from the Hostess Cupcake Factory which was just off Murray Street...near Lyell Avenue.
I vaguely remember that ... or maybe just remember one of the many bakeries on Lyell.
For many years now, Lyell has been the hub for prostitution.
What a shame.
55 posted on 01/18/2019 12:54:53 PM PST by oh8eleven (RVN '67-'68)
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To: oh8eleven

True.

Syracuse’s average annual snowfall is greater than Buffalo.


56 posted on 01/18/2019 1:03:40 PM PST by metmom ( ...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith......)
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To: oh8eleven
"For many years now, Lyell has been the hub for prostitution. What a shame."

That is a shame. I remember Tent City was over there. There used to be a Star Market, and Loblaw's across from each other on Lyell. If there wasn't anything good playing at the Lincoln Theater on the weekends, we'd walk out to the Lyell Theater that was in a strip mall on Lyell and Mt. Read Blvd.

57 posted on 01/18/2019 2:48:37 PM PST by mass55th (Courage is being scared to death - but saddling up anyway...John Wayne)
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To: metmom

I’m saying Tues, Wed, and Thurs, when we are due another 20”. They may not close school if it come slow enough.


58 posted on 01/18/2019 3:10:13 PM PST by VTenigma (The Democrat party is the party of the mathematically challenged)
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To: mass55th

Thanks, 50 to 60” predicted for the week.


59 posted on 01/18/2019 3:11:14 PM PST by VTenigma (The Democrat party is the party of the mathematically challenged)
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To: mass55th
the Lyell Theater that was in a strip mall on Lyell and Mt. Read Blvd.
Back in the 80s, the place to go to see X-rated movies was the Lyell Theater. It disappeared in the early 90s.
Tent City was a great place to buy almost anything for the outdoors. It's long gone too.
60 posted on 01/19/2019 5:41:03 AM PST by oh8eleven (RVN '67-'68)
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