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PANIC REIGNS AS MAJOR SNOWSTORM THREATENS TO BURY NYC !!! [vanity/satire]
The New York Whines | January 18 2019

Posted on 01/18/2019 8:06:59 AM PST by Mr_Moonlight

January 18 2019 - The New York Whines -

A huge snowstorm is threatening to overtake New York City this morning, as over 1/32nd of an inch of the dreaded semi-frozen crystals have accumulated thus far in Central Park and on the streets between Lexington and Fifth Avenues.

Buses and Subways are running at half speed as ordered by Mayor Bill de Blasshole after he was awoken from his mid-morning snooze and informed of the developing calamity facing the city.

Said the Mayor before resuming his nap, "I have fully capable people in positions to deal with these types of trivial matters, so don't bother me no more about it", then stormed off in a huff.

A top aide to the Mayor concurred, "Hizzoner has a very important communist revolution to lead, do you think he needs to hear this shit from you irritating reporters?".

When asked by our Whines reporter, the aide declined to provide his name, but added, "If you alt-right so called 'journalists' at the Whines had only let us tax you at 100% six years ago then we wouldn't even be having this conversation".

City authorities have advised residents to secure their supplies of bread and milk, as this may be a long haul until at least midday this afternoon, but warned not to venture outside, as the sidewalks may be slippery when wet. Additionally, authorities have assured that used syringe deposit boxes will remain open and in full operation at all city parks within the five boroughs.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: satire
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To: Mr_Moonlight

will it be worse than the GREAT BLIZZARD OF 1888, before Glo-bull warming?


21 posted on 01/18/2019 8:41:11 AM PST by Ruy Dias de Bivar
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To: Mr_Moonlight

I believe that the women’s march should change their theme and protest the racist white snow. It would be nice if they all brought a can of black paint with them and take care of the problem. Would that be a cultural appropriation if they painted the snow flakes black? Gasp! Black face!

Seems like you’re wrong no matter how you make it better.


22 posted on 01/18/2019 8:43:47 AM PST by Pilgrim's Progress (http://www.baptistbiblebelievers.com/BYTOPICS/tabid/335/Default.aspx D)
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To: oldasrocks

I was in the library today and noticed that Snow White was still on the shelf, both in book and video form. I immediately brought them to the attention of the head librarian. She put them back on the shelf. My protest was, like, FAIL.


23 posted on 01/18/2019 8:45:33 AM PST by Pilgrim's Progress (http://www.baptistbiblebelievers.com/BYTOPICS/tabid/335/Default.aspx D)
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To: Mr_Moonlight
Up here in New Hampshire we are expecting a Bouchard or more of snow!

https://youtu.be/9IkuV-_PWBM

24 posted on 01/18/2019 8:48:40 AM PST by CtBigPat (Qanon - Please be real...)
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To: Mr_Moonlight

I live in Rome, NY. They’ve predicted between 1 and 2 feet here, most falling on Sunday. It snowed a little bit last night. They’re also calling for below zero temps in the teens on Monday and Tuesday. We’ve been lucky this year, as we’ve only had one other heavy snowfall. The rest has been a couple inches here and there.


25 posted on 01/18/2019 8:50:30 AM PST by mass55th (Courage is being scared to death - but saddling up anyway...John Wayne)
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To: SkyDancer

LOL!! That’s what I got outside now.


26 posted on 01/18/2019 8:51:03 AM PST by mass55th (Courage is being scared to death - but saddling up anyway...John Wayne)
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To: oh8eleven

I was born in Rochester, and lived there until 1972. I live in Rome, NY now. Never get back to the City anymore as I’m the only one left from my family. My brother’s widow lives in Ontario, NY, and I occasionally visit her there. Spoke to her last night about the coming storm.


27 posted on 01/18/2019 8:53:56 AM PST by mass55th (Courage is being scared to death - but saddling up anyway...John Wayne)
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To: Alberta's Child

When I first moved to Toronto, I thought how nice it would be to have a white Christmas. After ten in a row, I didn’t feel quite so strongly. But the first snowfall of the year was gorgeous. There would be snowflakes the size of doilies coming down in a breeze-less flutter. Loved it. I never did get used to thunder during snowstorms, though.


28 posted on 01/18/2019 8:59:08 AM PST by sparklite2 (Don't mind me. I'm just a contrarian.)
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To: Mr_Moonlight

OMG! They’re all doomed! Not to worry - Mayor DeBlasio is on the job. Once he gets back from Davos....


29 posted on 01/18/2019 9:07:37 AM PST by Rummyfan (In any war between the civilized man and the savage, support the civilized man. Support Israel.)
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To: sparklite2

“Another thing we had to do was put anti-freeze in the windshield washer water tank, as the water would often freeze up”

Here in loony California, the anti-freeze solution for your windshield washer cannot be sold in areas where freezing conditions are not normal in the winter. So on our way to the Sierras for our first couple of days of skiing each winter, we have to stop at an auto parts store as we get close to our destination where the proper washer fluid is available. At least the law doesn’t currently say we have to drain it out when we return to the flatland, yet!


30 posted on 01/18/2019 9:08:09 AM PST by vette6387 (WQew)
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To: vette6387

Nobody micromanages the citizenry quite like California.


31 posted on 01/18/2019 9:10:39 AM PST by sparklite2 (Don't mind me. I'm just a contrarian.)
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To: mass55th
Never get back to the City anymore
There's no city to get back to - it's all slums. In fact, Rochester has the highest per capita murder rate in the state.
   I've lived in Greece since moving here in '64 (from NYC) and never did like the city, even when it was still "charming."
The '64 riots started the decay and the massive flight to suburbia. The eventual demise of Xerox and Kodak drove the stake in for good.
32 posted on 01/18/2019 9:22:32 AM PST by oh8eleven (RVN '67-'68)
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To: oh8eleven
I grew up on Immel Street, near Jay and Ames Street. My Dad worked for the NY Central Railroad. I went to Madison High School (the original one), and graduated in 1965.

I went online the other day, and viewed one of those 360 degree scenes of the street, where you can go up and down, and see the front of all the homes. I didn't even recognize it. Back then the street had big, beautiful Maple trees on both sides of the street. We had one in front of our house. Those trees are all gone. The funeral parlor, a grand Victorian mansion on the corner...gone. What a wasteland.

My brother was working at Kodak on Elmgrove Ave. when he passed in 1995. My sister-in-law had worked there too. That's how they met. They were living on Colvin Street, off Jay Street. Our old grammar school is right across the street from there. It's long been a resident for senior citizens. When my sister-in-law's mother died, she had the option to buy out her two sister's shares of the family home in Ontario, NY. I told her to do it, and get the hell out of the city because it was really getting bad. We're both in our 70's, and I'm glad she took my advice when she did.

33 posted on 01/18/2019 9:34:46 AM PST by mass55th (Courage is being scared to death - but saddling up anyway...John Wayne)
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To: mass55th

My cousin,from MA,went to Nazareth College in Rochester——way back in the mid-fifties. It was a nice place then.

.


34 posted on 01/18/2019 9:38:39 AM PST by Mears
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To: Mr_Moonlight

Big city people crack me up sometimes.


35 posted on 01/18/2019 9:39:25 AM PST by rdl6989
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To: oldasrocks
The REAL problem is the snow is WHITE!

Yep, more white privilege!!

36 posted on 01/18/2019 9:40:17 AM PST by usconservative (When The Ballot Box No Longer Counts, The Ammunition Box Does. (What's In Your Ammo Box?))
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To: mass55th
You and your family were the backbone that made the city great. Once you were gone, pfffft, it was all over.
My mom grew up here, met my Dad after WWII at the Brooklyn Navy Yard where they put down stakes. Finally sick of commuting into Manhattan, they moved us to Rochester.
I worked 35 years @ Kodak ... about 15 years at Elmgrove and the rest downtown at KO.
37 posted on 01/18/2019 9:49:27 AM PST by oh8eleven (RVN '67-'68)
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To: jaydubya2

They’ve been merged a while. Same thing happened to me yesterday. WE interface sucks compared to Intellicast.


38 posted on 01/18/2019 9:58:23 AM PST by VTenigma (The Democrat party is the party of the mathematically challenged)
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To: mass55th

We’re due for 30 to 36” by sunday, with another 20” or so tue,wed,thurs. Should be fun, they might even cancel school. I know I’ll be plowing so it won’t keep me off the roads.


39 posted on 01/18/2019 10:02:56 AM PST by VTenigma (The Democrat party is the party of the mathematically challenged)
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To: mass55th

I lived and worked in Rome NY many yrs ago....


40 posted on 01/18/2019 10:36:48 AM PST by cherry
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