Posted on 11/08/2018 4:30:44 AM PST by sodpoodle
Southern Humor
A guy from ALABAMA passed away and left his entire estate to his beloved widow, but she can't touch it 'till she's 14.
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How do you know when you're staying in a MISSISSIPPI hotel?
When you call the front desk and say,
"I gotta leak in my sink," and the clerk replies, "Go ahead."
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How can you tell if a GEORGIA redneck is married?
There's dried tobacco juice on both sides of his pickup truck.
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Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in ALABAMA to 32?
It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high school.
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What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw in GEORGIA ?
Documentaries!
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Where was the toothbrush invented?
MISSISSIPPI.
If it had been invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teeth brush.
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An ALABAMA State trooper pulls over a pickup on I-65 and says to the driver,
"Got any I.D.?" and the driver replies"Bout wut?"
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Did you hear about the $3 million GEORGIA State Lottery?
The winner gets $3.00 a year for a million years.
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The governor's mansion in ALABAMA burned down!
Yep. Pert' near took out the whole trailer park. The library was a total loss too. Both books-poofed up in flames and he hadn't even finished coloring one of them.
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A new law was recently passed in MISSISSIPPI.
When a couple gets divorced, they are STILL cousins.
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A guy walks into a bar in GEORGIA and orders a mudslide. The bartender looks at the man and says,"You ain't from 'round here are ya boy?
"No" replies the man, Im from California.
The bartender looks at him and says, "Well, what do ya do in California?"
"I'm a taxidermist," said the man.
The bartender, looking very bewildered now, asks, "What in the world is a tax-e-derm-ist?"
The man says,"I mount animals.
"The bartender hollers to the whole bar..."It's okay boys, he's one of us!
When a couple gets divorced, they are STILL cousins...
lol
The last joke was the best though.
A bunch of jokes about stereotypes is funny.
I’m Italian and have gotten plenty of gangsters jokes and barbs through the years here. All in good fun
Libs would read them and say “I TOLD YOU SOUTHERNERS WERE LIKE THAT!”
Haha!
I heard a good joke yesterday.
Beto changed his name after losing the election. Nacho. Nacho Senator.
Yes - when you are proud of your ancestry - jokes roll off with laughter;)
Need a
“Rimshot!”
:)
How many southerner/hillbilly jokes are there???
Just one...
All the rest are true.
Where was the toothbrush invented?
MISSISSIPPI.
If it had been invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teeth brush.
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I had heard it was invented in West Virginia.
“Libs would read them and say I TOLD YOU SOUTHERNERS WERE LIKE THAT!
As galling as it is sometimes, I have found that “stereotypes have a basis in fact”.
Good part of my life I’ve been called some variation of basard; “EYEtayan,W-P or J-W...sometimes all in one breath. Grew into Daddies advice that “some people you meet, best thing to do is ignore them”. Irony is that my ancestry is “none of the above”.
I’m trying to come up with an Italian joke: a liberal mayor proclaims that Columbus Day will observed as `indigenous peoples’ day’. Vito, Dominic, & Luigi march into his office.
What happens next?
;^)
My daughter, when we moved from Illinois to Florida while she was in high school, came home with exactly the same story. To this day, some 25 years later, we still laugh about it.
I guess we’re racists.
When a couple gets divorced, they are STILL cousins.
The only recent documented case of incest was between two Leftist California hippies.
Good stuff.
The best Italian joke was in Everybody Loves Raymond.
“Robert, we are Italians! Wack for us means something else!”
That’s when Robert acted like he is black, so that his black co-policemen would like him and used the word “wack” s lot.
That was hilarious.
Funny.
But Southerners are still more intelligent than those in NYC.
“But Southerners are still more intelligent than those in NYC.”
Or anywhere else liberal exist: We ain’t faggots and we know which bathroom to use.
Now i have moved out of the area but my high school where my grandparents raised me when they retired there every one that was originally from there was kin somehow. There was 25 in my graduation, but the neighbors across the road got married then divorced and her name never changed and not because she kept her maiden name well she did but it was the same as his seeing as though they were paternal 3rd cousins... i moved back to where my grandpa was originally from i went forward 100 miles and 50 years in a day...
OK....Im from the South.....
....and I still have a sense of humor, cause I was chuckling
The last one is true more in Atlanta than out in the sticks.
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