Posted on 10/15/2018 10:45:16 AM PDT by Gamecock
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Shortly after Elizabeth Warren released a DNA test that may or may not show that she is 1/1024th Native American, failed presidential candidate and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton showed the results of a recent DNA test that conclusively proved she is only 50% Reptilian.
The test, conducted by a renowned DNA expert, showed that only 50% of her blood comes from reptilian humanoids from space bent on destroying humanity. Many Washington insiders had claimed she was 100% reptile, but these claims are now known to be a hoax.
"I'm happy to announce that I'm only half reptile," she said on an interview Sunday evening. "I hope my critics will think twice before calling me a space reptile now, since that's only half true. I'm only part lizard person, thank you very much."
But she was quick to point out that whether or not she's an earth-conquering reptile is irrelevant, quipping, "What difference, at this point, does it make?"
At publishing time, Clinton had admitted the remainder of her DNA was that of a Cylon.
Babylon Bee. Equal Opportunity Satire.
Hilizardary Clinton.
The other half is pure turd.
LoL
It’s obviously satire. Hillary’s test showed that she’s 1/1024th human. At best.
“I am the Lizard King, I can do anything.”
Hillary is crab people.
Hillary... half-lizard? Did she get Valerie Jarrett to spit into her DNA test cup?
Valerie Jarrett couldn't be reached for comment.
If only Rosanne would have stated the obvious.
As for Hillary, she’s more snake than lizard, my opinion.
Obama people are lizard people.
Clintons, snakes.
Why, oh why, did you have to write this? Now I'm going to have to go out and apologize to all the innocent, beneficial snakes in my yard. After all, snakes eat vermin; the Witch is pestilential vermin.
Well, Trump is Honey Badger.
He eats them all and don’t give a ————.
So there.
Did her DNA test prove just where she obtained those cloven hoofs?
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