Posted on 08/30/2018 3:46:24 AM PDT by sodpoodle
ACTUAL CALLS RECEIVED AT A PUBLIC GOLF COURSE
Staff: Golf course, may I help you? Caller: What are your green fees? Staff: 38 dollars. Caller: Does that include golf?
Staff: Golf course, may I help you? Caller: Yes, I need to get some information from you First, is this your correct phone number?
Staff: Golf course, may I help you? Caller: I'd like to reserve a tee time in two weeks. Staff: Yes, we have a tee time for two weeks from Friday. Caller: What's the weather going to be like that day?
Staff: Golf course, may I help you? Caller: Yes, I had a tee time for this afternoon but I'm running late. Can you still get me out early?
Staff: Golf course, may I help you? Caller: Yes, do you have one of those areas where you can buy a bucket of golf balls and hit them for practice? Staff: You mean a driving range? Caller: No, that's not it.
Staff: Golf course, may I help you? Caller: Yes, I'd like to get a tee time tomorrow between 12 o'clock and noon. Staff: Between 12 o'clock and noon? Caller: Yes. Staff: We'll try to squeeze you in.
Staff: Golf course, may I help you? Caller: Do you have any open tee times around 10 o'clock? Staff: Yes, we have one at 10:15. Caller: What's the next time after that? Staff: We have one at 10:22. Caller: We'll take that one. It will be a bit warmer
Staff: Golf course, may I help you? Caller: How much to play golf today? Staff: 25 to walk, 38 with a cart. Caller: 38 dollars? Staff: No, 38 yen.
Staff: Golf course, may I help you? Caller: What do you have for tee times tomorrow? Staff: What time would you like? Caller: What times do you have? Staff: What time of the day? Caller: Any time. Staff: Morning or afternoon? Caller: Whenever. Staff: We have 16 times open in the morning and 20 open in the afternoon. Would you like me to read the whole list? Caller: No, I don't think any of those times will work for me.
Staff: Golf course, may I help you? Caller: Do you have a dress code? Staff: Yes, we do. We require soft spikes. Caller: How about clothes? Staff: Yes, you have to wear clothes.
Staff: Golf course, may I help you? Caller: Yes, do you have a driving range there? Staff: Yes. Caller: How much for a bucket of large balls? Staff: Sorry, we're all out of large balls. But we can give you twice as many small balls for the same price.
Staff: Golf course, may I help you? Caller: Can I get a tee time for tomorrow? Staff: Sure, what time would you like? Caller: Something between 9 o'clock and 10 o'clock. In the morning, if possible.
Staff: Golf course, may I help you? Caller: Do you rent golf clubs there? Staff: Yes, they're 25 dollars. Caller: How much to rent a bag?
Staff: Golf course, may I help you? Caller: Yes, my husband just called me on his cell phone and told me he's on the 15th hole. How many more holes does he have to play before he gets to the 18th?
Staff: Golf course, may I help you? Caller: Yes, do you have a driving range there? Staff: Yes. Caller: How much for a large bucket? Staff: Four dollars. Caller: Does that include the balls?
Staff: Golf course, may I help you? Caller: Do you have a twilight rate? Staff: Yes, it's 15 dollars after 2 o'clock. Caller: And what time does that start?
Staff: Golf course, may I help you? Caller: Yes, I'd like some info about your golf course. Staff: OK, what would you like to know? Caller: I don't know, that's why I called.
Staff: Golf course, may I help you? Caller: My kids just came home with pockets full of range balls and said they stole them from your driving range. Would you like to buy them back?
I hang around the shack with my buddy the pro. The actual calls are not quite as bad, but close....
How long does it take to play the 19th?
From opening time to closing time!
Caller: I haven’t played this course before, is there anything unusual? Staff: There’s a hazard on hole 9, caused an injury last week. Caller: What happened!? Staff: Guy fell off the ball washer.
I believe that was a hole in one.
I prefer the opening shot of Periscope Down. Kelsey Grammer driving off the deck of a surfaced submarine.
My daughter was a dispatcher at the local 911 for fifteen years.
I need to get some of her tales written down.
From maddening to pitiful to roflmao funny. All in one night.
That is such a great idea for a blog or a book. She needs to do it ASAP - before the memory fades.
I have been working on my ‘memoires’ for decades -but changing computers and printers - plus the lazies - I’m so far from my goals. Have very low tech skills for adding photos.
Daughter-in-law used a company called Blurb for her mother’s story. She taped and then typed the conversations. Blurb did a great job - beautiful book. Check them out.
Women Golfer: I got stung by a bee!
Golf Pro: Where?
Women Golfer: Between the first and second hole.
Golf Pro: Your stance is too wide!
You just won the PGA - Possibly Grossest Account;) LOL!!!
I had never thought of a book, thanks.
I’ll pass it on to her and see what she says.
I’ll check out blurb.
Thanks a heap.
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